Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask out the girl I like. After nervously fumbling through my words, I asked, "Want to grab a cup of water sometime?" She looked at me confused, then asked if I meant coffee. FML
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Top comments
Daddymo 14
I think you need to raise your standards to include pretty girls that aren't also bitches.
Roxxxxay 13
They say girls go for bad boys but on FML it seems all the boys fall for the biggest bitches.
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Comments (179)
KendratheUnicorn 0
She probably should've put that in a different way. Brush it off and don't let her ruin your perception of women! :)
ycrem0n 21
I hate bitches who think they're too good for you.
Boomshadow 3
You may want to screw her brains out, but someone else has already gotten to her personality. ;)
luckyd880 12
I totally read that comment in the csi guys voice. All dramatic and corny. Hahaha Made my night.
middlecyclone 5
Ha. So did I.
calilovergirl 4
What a stuck up bitch! If everyone "lowered their standards" then people wouldn't have dreams to accomplish!
cr3ativity 15
wow. /isn't she modest?/ (I use slashes as sarcasm font.) But hey, at least you know her true colors now and you won't fall for her. So you bit the bullet now, but you threw back that grenade.
easyprey 8
No use catching a grenade for someone when they were the one who threw it. I agree with you
furordei 2
It's all good op. when you become successful hire her then fire her for fun.
PinkyPie09 6
That's awful! Keep your chin up OP. She may be a bitch but Karma is an even bigger bitch ;)
Ririshi 0
Yeah, Karma is. I always get bad Karma...
Cowboy1986 4
Yea listen to this sexy cowgirl
KendratheUnicorn 0
70 just made this really awkward :/
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Karma: everyone calls me a bitch. I'm just bringing justice, damn it!
spottyblanket 8
what an awful girl, she sounds ugly on the inside.
missedtrain 3
Harsh
icantthinkofgood 5
Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one!