Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask out the girl I like. After nervously fumbling through my words, I asked, "Want to grab a cup of water sometime?" She looked at me confused, then asked if I meant coffee. FML
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Top comments
Daddymo 14
I think you need to raise your standards to include pretty girls that aren't also bitches.
Roxxxxay 13
They say girls go for bad boys but on FML it seems all the boys fall for the biggest bitches.
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Comments (179)
Locoluis 15
Do you have a dream of an ideal girl? Well, your ideal girl has a dream of an ideal boy, and you're not it. This is your problem. Either become the boy of her dreams or do as she says. It's only fair. It takes two to tango.
Jasonf6 0
I love women who think they are hotter than they actually are. What a ****.
handsfree 2
Dont beat yourself up. Keep going at it. Just not with her.
greghhepburn 0
Slash her tires
kalbrek009 20
Obviously she either A: wants you to lower your standards so you can date a low-life bitch like her, or B: she thinks she's too high maintenance & too "high-and-mighty" for you....which REALLY means (she's a stuck up bitch) who's WELL below anyone's standards..move on.
THExistentialist 13
"Actually, the prostitute I hit on said the same thing, that's why I just asked you! HOW MUCH LOWER CAN I GET?" seriously though, by the sounds of it, you need to raise your standards. Girls that get hit on all the time ARE aware of the impact their rejection has on the feelings of others, so if you get shot down in a bitchy way, then you know that's a girl who's a waste of time.
TwiztedYuri 9
girls in my dreams never turn me down or give me advise. I usually get laid and wake up...
escobar07 10
that means you a ugly ass nigga lol
lydialaughs 0
That's messed up :( you don't deserve that.
Jumpingmal2 7
Maybe the girl of your dreams needs to lower her standards... Lol just kidding :) she probably meant you need to lower your standards to date her cause she is a bitch. You deserve better OP