Intimacy: Knock first

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 898

You deserved it 7 067

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Privacy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 888

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 072

You deserved it 2 787

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 041

You deserved it 35 381

Put it away!

By Put on some trousers, you asshole! - 27/06/2021 11:01 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I'm temporarily staying at my parents' place because my mother injured her knee and can't walk, and for the second time, I caught my father walking around with his bare dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 158

You deserved it 1 269

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 316

You deserved it 4 000

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 088

You deserved it 550

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 771

You deserved it 7 588

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 19:53 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 75 701

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 054

You deserved it 16 423

cryptic26 12

Saturday 7 September 2013 1:10

That man seriously needs to invest in a lock.

caitylynn05 16

Saturday 7 September 2013 1:11

Lol, why did you keep going to see him after the first time??

Comments

kunjac0945 21

Saturday 21 March 2015 23:48

"Since breakfast," eh? How many times did you catch him BEFORE breakfast?

lilfox67 13

Wednesday 6 January 2016 20:18

Fool me once,

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Geek Video games Gamers Kids Parents Family AITA Relatable Gun control Animals Amazon Money Annoying Cute Birthday Health Weird Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams Miscellaneous Friends Mysterious School Education Anger issues

The Top

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 83

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 006

The Top

Today, I made it all the way up the stairs without collecting up all the shit my wife had left there during the morning. Instead of rewarding me for not falling over it, she cursed me for not understanding her puzzling redistribution system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 249

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 387

You deserved it 17 779

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 226

You deserved it 8 463

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 106

You deserved it 49 996

Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 451

You deserved it 42 581

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 572

You deserved it 3 995