Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Keeper

Keeper

By ughreally - 20/09/2013 00:20 - United States - Sartell

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I F*ck On First Dates". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 031

You deserved it 6 461

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 355

You deserved it 31 722

By dateless - 21/09/2012 11:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 132

You deserved it 2 362

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 996

You deserved it 2 645

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 230

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 153

By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 3 237

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 112

You deserved it 7 773

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 837

You deserved it 1 343

Classic

By KDH - 26/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Santa Monica

Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 107

Bad omen

By coveholli - 15/11/2014 14:43 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 232

You deserved it 3 187

jasdanu 12

Friday 20 September 2013 8:49

Can't tell if he has a sense of humor or is trying to play out a bad joke

Miss_Latina 13

Friday 20 September 2013 8:51

Did you?

Comments

teffyweffy 6

Friday 20 September 2013 9:18

Balls

SweetasCandy0609 28

Friday 20 September 2013 9:30

dang and I'm sure you forgot to wear your I don't f*ck on the first date shirt.

hienzburgess 9

Friday 20 September 2013 9:36

he's a straightforward no bullshit kinda guy. it's a good quality to have in a relationship

werewolf_babe 16

Friday 20 September 2013 9:43

Run

StefanKa 23

Friday 20 September 2013 10:10

Well...it's free, right? So don't complain.

WhiteCrimson 23

Friday 20 September 2013 10:20

Clearly he had high expectations!!! What a tosser! Hope you left as he walked in OP

Rhian00 17

Friday 20 September 2013 10:33

He sounds classy! Definitely a keeper.

benmec 18

Friday 20 September 2013 11:44

Sounds like you totally scored!!!

Wakachulak 22

Friday 20 September 2013 12:13

False advertising... It is illegal!

FezzesAreCool 18

Friday 20 September 2013 12:42

Run!

Keywords

Teenagers Love Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Work Revenge Parents Awkward Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice Kids AITA Annoying Shoes Roommate Music Names Customers Capitalism Education

The Top

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 560

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 212

You deserved it 3 745

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 103

Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 081

You deserved it 6 071

Today, I realized how close my boyfriend and best friend are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 572

You deserved it 4 768

Today, my husband told me "The only reason I stay with you is because it's cheaper than paying child support." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 083

You deserved it 5 783

Today, I was told I will receive no Christmas or birthday presents for the next 3 years because my parents paid for my rhinoplasty. I needed it because my 12-year-old brother smashed my nose with a hammer in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 951

You deserved it 290