Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Keeper

Keeper

By ughreally - 20/09/2013 00:20 - United States - Sartell

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I F*ck On First Dates". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 031

You deserved it 6 461

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 355

You deserved it 31 722

By dateless - 21/09/2012 11:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 132

You deserved it 2 362

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 996

You deserved it 2 645

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 230

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 153

By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 3 237

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 112

You deserved it 7 773

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 837

You deserved it 1 343

Classic

By KDH - 26/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Santa Monica

Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 107

Bad omen

By coveholli - 15/11/2014 14:43 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 233

You deserved it 3 187

jasdanu 12

Friday 20 September 2013 8:49

Can't tell if he has a sense of humor or is trying to play out a bad joke

Miss_Latina 13

Friday 20 September 2013 8:51

Did you?

Comments

beachbum561fla 14

Saturday 21 September 2013 3:35

At least he's honest

hulagan77 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 4:37

was his shirt correct?

Testing1234 25

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:14

Hes probably just trying to be funny ..... I hope

smilelynzi 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:33

He sounds like a douche..

datburn 9

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:33

Icebreaker?

mesahus 5

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:56

Maybe he was just '*******' with you

greenbaybuddy 2

Tuesday 24 September 2013 7:13

Thats awesome straight to the point

wifey08 13

Wednesday 25 September 2013 7:53

I have a strong feeling he did NOT get any...I bet he was just trying to lighten the mood, he obviously didn't realize how tacky it was.

Euphrates 10

Saturday 28 September 2013 0:00

this would have been completely diferent post if this happened to a guy...lol

foxyhasmybooty 16

Tuesday 2 December 2014 13:30

Yes.yes it would because we wouldn't be reading it

kaywilliams 6

Monday 30 September 2013 9:22

At least he's honest! Lol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 91

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 940

You deserved it 3 728

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 17 911

Today, I asked my Instagram followers out of curiosity who their favourite influencer was. Someone replied, without knowing it doesn’t come up anonymously, “Not you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 2 220

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 3 987

Today, it's been a week since I got a gastric balloon to help me lose weight. On the plus side, I've lost 5kg. On the downside, it's been one week of vomiting, diarrhea, not being able to eat solid food, and stomach cramps so painful that it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. 15 weeks to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 254