Allergies and Love: It's getting hott in here

It's getting hott in here

By Burning Love - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 612

You deserved it 5 442

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Same thing different taste

By Ticklish - 13/04/2014 09:33 - United States - Marion

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 670

You deserved it 4 448

Read the room

By Mortified concert-cougher - 29/04/2023 18:00

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 120

Classic fraud

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 147

Puffy

By blow me - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 3 494

Zit remedy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 188

You deserved it 7 335

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 760

You deserved it 4 383

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 896

You deserved it 61 514

Great, just great

By lax22 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 154

You deserved it 6 298

Here comes the sunbed

By Aiaiii - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 590

You deserved it 37 309

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 400

You deserved it 908

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:57

At least he didn't ask you if his handkerchief smelled like chloroform.

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:58

This girl is on fire.

Comments

Retrokitty 9

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:10

Well hopefully he's understanding. I have really sensitive skin, and it can be embarrassing to have a bright red face.

anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 12

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:15

I guess there was some chemistry between you two!

Feklfekl2222 32

Saturday 15 March 2014 21:07

There's at least some attreaction

KSIPanda2 6

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:21

well for he at least smell good

Infamous_Tora 12

Saturday 15 March 2014 17:02

... What?

jazzy_123 20

Saturday 15 March 2014 18:04

for a guy**...?

_kyleG_ 34

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:25

Well, you can certainly say there was a attraction, er reaction, there

AlyKinks35 21

Saturday 10 October 2015 13:17

good one lol

vlalam 24

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:27

Wow, didn't see that one coming..

Infamous_Tora 12

Saturday 15 March 2014 17:03

Probably smelled it though.

elenaunlucky 10

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:29

well now i definitely know what they talk about in cheesy romance novels.

AlexRen 21

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:30

Dang, that cologne still isn't going to stop you from giving him hugs anymore?

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:37

The girl on fire has the odds in her favor...

paramor3 23

Saturday 15 March 2014 17:29

Aaaaaawwwww!! Just ask him to switch colognes...I'm sure there's still a connection there!!

buttcramp 21

Saturday 15 March 2014 17:41

This really sucks! OP, if everything else went well on the date and he's willing to switch fragrances then it could still work out.

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The Top

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 477

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 051

You deserved it 4 457

The Top

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 229

You deserved it 31 112

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 791

You deserved it 6 770

Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 1 530

Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 691

You deserved it 25 507

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 900

You deserved it 4 918

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 763

You deserved it 5 566

Same thing different taste

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