Allergies and Love: It's getting hott in here

It's getting hott in here

By Burning Love - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 608

You deserved it 5 442

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Ticklish - 13/04/2014 09:33 - United States - Marion

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 669

You deserved it 4 448

Read the room

By Mortified concert-cougher - 29/04/2023 18:00

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 120

Classic fraud

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 147

Puffy

By blow me - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 230

You deserved it 3 494

Zit remedy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 188

You deserved it 7 335

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 757

You deserved it 4 383

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 896

You deserved it 61 511

Great, just great

By lax22 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 153

You deserved it 6 297

Here comes the sunbed

By Aiaiii - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 590

You deserved it 37 306

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 400

You deserved it 908

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:57

At least he didn't ask you if his handkerchief smelled like chloroform.

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:58

This girl is on fire.

Comments

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:54

Your love was so strong it was fiery

alphabetta 23

Saturday 15 March 2014 21:50

Wow, even worse than one of my puns- and that's saying something. *applause*

kaimariebee 15

Saturday 15 March 2014 22:56

Wut..

Erery 16

Tuesday 18 March 2014 7:30

Lawl Stfu.

BassTurdo 22

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:56

Burning love

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:59

That indeed is OP's name, good job.

Jaaared_ 15

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:00

Just stop trying.

magickitten 26

Saturday 15 March 2014 18:59

One fail was bad enough....stop trying to be funny.

i_h8t_everything 12

Saturday 15 March 2014 22:22

You already wasted the first comment on a crappy joke. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN THE SECOND???

jdlanam87 9

Tuesday 18 March 2014 5:53

I don't get it joke 1-2 both negative marks but 3 just as cheesy all positive. Wth. Lighten up people. They're jokes

tpm45 25

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:56

Where there is desire there is gunna be a flame.

zandalee 19

Saturday 15 March 2014 23:26

Love is a battle field

maebelline12 12

Sunday 16 March 2014 22:40

And where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned.

Tobber 16

Sunday 23 March 2014 10:01

Am I only dreaming? Or is this burning an eternal flame?

GirlGamer12345 22

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:57

So magical

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:57

At least he didn't ask you if his handkerchief smelled like chloroform.

REALAfroninga 11

Sunday 16 March 2014 5:35

That's my pick up line! It really stinks when you have to carry her out of the bar!

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:58

This girl is on fire.

TheCrispyCat 20

Saturday 15 March 2014 19:19

Katniss?

happyforever 15

Saturday 15 March 2014 19:23

Alicia Keys? :D

Ilovemysphynx 19

Saturday 15 March 2014 15:59

Well usually the tingles are in the stomach, not the face. Maybe next time op!

Mynamewontfi 40

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:02

Nothing says love more than a burned face.

Kibaruto 33

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:03

Cologne you say? Love stinks.

angelitared 27

Saturday 15 March 2014 16:08

Quick! To the Benadryl!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 760

You deserved it 15 563

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I asked my friends what they thought was my biggest problem. All of them responded, "You're boring." I don't deny it, and I certainly did ask, but… Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 215

Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 435

Today, I have to reschedule the vacation I had planned for eight months because I have the flu, and feel too sick to go and enjoy myself at a waterpark. This vacation is the only thing that's kept me sane these last two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 951

You deserved it 223

Today, I had to quit my job. Why? Because I don't have a babysitter anymore. All I did was tell them I didn't want them mocking my baby when he cries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 329

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 440

You deserved it 28 763

Today, my brother's high school was having a soccer game against mine, and as a sign of good luck, I told him to "break a leg". He broke mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 409

You deserved it 1 333

Same thing different taste

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