Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, thirty minutes after the end of a great date with a great girl, she texted me, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML
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Top comments
FlamingJazkinz 15
Just don't act like one and you'll be fine :D
danthehuman 29
Unlike a blow-up sex doll, you're still going on a date. :P
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Comments (55)
FlamingJazkinz 15
Just don't act like one and you'll be fine :D
Killz268 18
the only comment that's actually made me laugh in a long time
MisterEx 28
Depends on her date I'd say :/
jackipdoc 31
That sucks! I hope they went down during the night
nonsensical 26
you hope who went down?
ScarredVox92 16
The lips were probably the only thing that went down.
danthehuman 29
Unlike a blow-up sex doll, you're still going on a date. :P
Kielnmsoftly 26
Actually there was once a news article about some sex dolls (I don't think blowups but whatever) and people paid upward of 60k to take them on dates then back o hotels......yeah it was a real thing I regret reading.
bionicslash 13
Maybe next time stick to the simple stuff? I've been seeing way to many people being affected by expensive make up lately.
Martermelon 24
Must've been a SUCKY situation.
YouEatDiarrhea 13
Just like your comment
thejonac 21
there really wasn't a need to caps the punchline
scarlett3diaz 24
should of tested it on your skin first honey
EatUrGreens 20
Don't know why this has thumbs down, that's how you test make up before ruining your whole face, by testing a bit on your arm.
Shamandalie89 32
Maybe because she wrote should of instead of should have.
jazzy_123 20
or maybe because makeup feels different on the hand than on the face. I tried a foundation on my hand to test color and when I wore it on my face, it broke me out, but guess what? my hand was fine!! *gasp*
Redgy22 26
Your face is completly different from your hand/arm. That's how you test the color, not check for a reaction. Unfortunately, I been through this a few times & the only way is to look at the ingredients. There are many commonly used chemicals in make-up & sunscreens that produce horrible reactions in some people. It used to be trial & error or seeing physician & having test done were the only ways to know, but nowadays it's much easier to research this information. Sorry it happened to you OP. It's miserable, painful, & sometimes can take days to go away. Most people don't really understand until it happens to them or they see it happen to someone they know. Also, it's not a matter if price, it's only about the chemicals used.
gallifreyanqueen 10
You shouldn't use your hand, it's toughened up from day to day life. What you should use, is the tender side of your elbow. It's also more likely to be closer to the colour of your face
scarlett3diaz 24
I never said to use it on OP'S hand.
annalily5 28
A breakout and an allergic reaction are two different things. This was an allergic reaction. That should still show up as at least a rash or some itching on the arm.
jackipdoc 31
If the guy is mature and doesn't just view you as the equivalent of a sex doll, hopefully all will go well. If not, he's not worth it!
mattzawesome 28
For some reason this reminds me of the idiots doing that Kylie Jenner challenge, though not your fault at all OP!
theswanlake 13
kylie jenner's secret finally revealed ?
1dvs_bstd 41
Yeah that lil bitch uses lip fillers.
roxyroller20 15
Why use a shot glass for the Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge when you can just use lipstick? Jk, YLS, OP