Miscellaneous: It's a mystery - FML

It's a mystery

By ilivealoneandwhatthefuck - 23/06/2013 17:02 - Guam - Yigo

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 312

You deserved it 4 342

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Same thing different taste

By Wilhelm - 26/04/2016 14:47 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 965

You deserved it 1 501

By dickhead - 10/04/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 187

You deserved it 3 397

Great housekeeping trap tip

By Gnome alone - 04/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 596

Shards

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 460

By rattrap - 06/02/2012 01:13 - United States

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time that my cats hadn't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 073

You deserved it 2 607

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 240

You deserved it 7 108

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 13:00

Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 221

You deserved it 286

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 978

You deserved it 3 206

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 241

You deserved it 5 863

Isn't that illegal?

By Ryan Engle - 29/07/2021 02:01

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 78

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:35

It has begun. Hide yo wife, hide yo kids; no-body is safe.

cupcakechick 17

Sunday 23 June 2013 23:34

call the cops

Comments

BlackRoseAndMe11 11

Sunday 30 June 2013 1:30

Call the police now...

jessie123246 2

Wednesday 3 July 2013 19:44

It's the Sims 3! The evil gnome will wreak havoc in your household!

SilentVampire 10

Friday 5 July 2013 7:43

Must be a vampire we all know they don't show up in film

Kenpokid4 2

Friday 5 July 2013 8:39

Do you happen to live in Albion? (Shut up, Fable 3 wasn't that bad)

NiFox 1

Wednesday 10 July 2013 7:12

Maybe he's in your house

auracle 2

Wednesday 17 July 2013 4:34

Family?

amisenho 11

Wednesday 24 July 2013 18:18

Sounds like the Gnome Gninja has stricken again!

SiriusOrionBlack 20

Tuesday 22 October 2013 17:55

in Sims 3, if you have a gnome, it periodically changes places around your lot. are you sure you're not a sim?

SonyIsGod 13

Thursday 28 November 2013 5:50

Paranormal Activity: Rise Of The Gnomes

whitegirl5301 4

Thursday 23 January 2014 3:58

lol! it might be someone who lives with you.........

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The Top

The Top

Today, I emailed out class requirements for the upcoming school year. I had to include, "No toys, no bottles, no pacifiers, and children must be fully potty trained in order to attend." At least 3 parents complained. I teach second grade, and none of them is special needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 97

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 788

You deserved it 10 763

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 515

You deserved it 2 897

Today, I performed for the first time at someone's wedding. When the music started, I heard a click. Slowly, I felt my strapless bra drop lower and lower due to my non-existent breasts. The hook on my bra had broken at that very moment on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 761

Today, I had to listen to my classmate loudly argue a question she got wrong on a test for half an hour, repeating the same incorrect argument ad nauseam. She screamed at the rightfully exasperated teacher for being "biased" when he gave up, and started screaming again when I tried to explain it in a different way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 132

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 377

You deserved it 2 342