Transportation: Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try...

By anonymous - United States

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38876

You deserved it

3553

Favorite

Transportation

And today, on Dr Phil…

Vulture

Bird's eye view

By MomStayOutOfTheCar - United States

Today, I got a ticket for "suspicious driving" because my total shit of a mother kept tugging on the wheel to annoy me, and I still had to pay it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26907

You deserved it

2009

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39918

You deserved it

13994

Favorite

By unknown relationship - United States - Shorewood

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47319

You deserved it

3135

Favorite

By sunny_funny - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7770

You deserved it

1050

Favorite

By hulagirl1217 - United States

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31487

You deserved it

2921

Favorite

By Waterer - United States - San Francisco

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23780

You deserved it

1759

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30782

You deserved it

1930

Favorite

By racoonface - United States

Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16628

You deserved it

54618

Favorite

By idiot - United States

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12027

You deserved it

23411

Favorite

By PureFallPain

He may be disappointed

Today, I am Catfishing a guy on Twitter. I didn't mean to start it, I had an account I use to vent with and I used a pic with a cute girl. He sent me a DM that he liked my pic. He wants to talk on the phone. We have fallen for each other. He thinks, I am 18. I am a 39 year old single mother of 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

467

You deserved it

4948

Favorite

By Anonymous

Sexless in Seattle

Today, it's become clear I might have married the only man on the planet who doesn't care about sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1870

You deserved it

444

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32942

You deserved it

3327

Favorite

By shal4

Today, within 20 minutes of waking up, my dad gave me a pained look and said: "Uhh, turns out your laptop isn't waterproof." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24805

You deserved it

1412

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years moved in with two other women. He's spent the past 2 years telling me he can't afford to move out of his parent's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25877

You deserved it

2569

Favorite

By Heifer - United States

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52797

You deserved it

21280

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Wayne

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54456

You deserved it

5043

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21374

You deserved it

5700

Favorite

By anon - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37396

You deserved it

5565

Favorite

By mylifeissad - United States

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10227

You deserved it

37863

Favorite

By nikko blue - United States

Today, I decided to try whitening my teeth for the first time. I applied the strips to my teeth and decided to lay down and wait for the thirty required minutes to pass. I accidentally fell asleep and woke up three hours later. My teeth are still in excruciating pain and are covered in white streaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11424

You deserved it

34240

Favorite

By mackmoons - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out someone doing the exact same job as me at work is making $900 more than me on their paycheck. The only reason is because when he messes up, he blames it on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1869

You deserved it

132

Favorite

By Worsttreeever - United States

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38312

You deserved it

3506

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59606

You deserved it

4452

Favorite

By Mouse

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29445

You deserved it

2359

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that I can fit back into the clothes I wore in High School. I was proud of this until my husband told me that I look like a stuffed sausage in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30145

You deserved it

11057

Favorite

By oldschool - United States

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17337

You deserved it

28799

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my wife cheated on me with a guy from her work three times, two months before I proposed to her. She decided to tell me three months into our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37527

You deserved it

2630

Favorite

By awkwardpartybear - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44739

You deserved it

17582

Favorite

By staticman101 - United States - Allendale

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9439

You deserved it

33927

Favorite

By bobby - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11744

You deserved it

62384

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/8/2020 04:18 - United Kingdom

Issues

Today, my boyfriend told me I’m clearly turning into my mother. I turned round to have a go at him when I stopped, thought about it, and realised he’s completely right. I’m just like her. Now I’m so depressed, I don’t know if I want booze, a relaxing bath or a really long, ugly crying session. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1416

You deserved it

360

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Seaside

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34969

You deserved it

8627

Favorite

By Motha - United States - West Jordan

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21588

You deserved it

50316

Favorite

By whyme_ss - United States

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40518

You deserved it

26879

Favorite

By "belladonna1025"

Today, I told a customer her total was $89.40. She put her leg up on the counter and dug a $100 bill out of her nasty sock. It was damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2718

Phew, glad it wasn't me

407

Favorite

By Workworkwork

Today, I’m trying to scrape $65 together to get the cheapest glasses possible. My partner is equally upset because she wants a Macbook to replace her working laptop. I’m only looking because I’m getting headaches from how old my current lenses are. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2009

You deserved it

221

Favorite

By notacreep - United States - San Francisco

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31377

You deserved it

8182

Favorite

By Anonymous - Egypt

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25211

You deserved it

2023

Favorite

By ellie - United States

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35591

You deserved it

3120

Favorite

By fatty - United States

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46271

You deserved it

15632

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By portablecupid | 3

#2300257 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Is your name Robert Downey Jr or Zach Galifianakis by any chance?

By TehFMLKing | 0

#2300252 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Someones trying to stop you getting on that plane Op. ;)

COMMENTS

By picklezz123 | 5

#2300248 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:05

aw that's too bad

abbi96x | 0

#2300268 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:07

Fail.

MyNameIsBruce | 0

#2300615 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:55

Sounds like another horribly unoriginal comedy movie in the making!

MyDogTastesBad | 0

#2301052 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 2:52

Use the Andy Green Thrust SSC uber fast landspeed vehicle.

Dr_JuanDiaz | 0

#2301424 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:12

Avenged Sevenfold!

Muliar | 0

#2301621 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:50

hax

RavenRiley007 | 4

#2301970 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:21

that's fate mate! or...

picklezz123 | 5

#2302061 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:54

whaaaat?

zoraman5 | 3

#2302237 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:51

Why Avenged o.o?

fml_psl | 0

#2302295 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 8:11

Thats really vry bad

gamercanadian | 11

#2303185 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 9:37

it's called a bad day, we all have it

gutzzzz | 0

#2303492 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 11:29

should have just flown to the other airport to catch your flight, that's what I, a lazy person, would do. :)

khaya | 9

#2304973 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 19:17

Is the OP Rambo.

GigglePony | 13

#2305875 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 23:35

As bad as that sucks...YDI for living in New Jersey.

By TehFMLKing | 0

#2300252 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Someones trying to stop you getting on that plane Op. ;)

chester75 | 5

#2300511 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:36

hahaha I was thinking the same thing

broccoli2 | 0

#2300972 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 2:26

ooooo eagle eye

docscientist | 9

#2301020 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 2:43

But allowing everyone else to get on the plane.

iBanana | 17

#2301158 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 3:18

Maybe it's a plane that's going to blow up.

dirtyblond | 4

#2301438 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:14

It's a SIGN!!!! Oh for Pete's Sake this is a freaken SIGN!!!! :O

OceanBreathesSal | 5

#2301479 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:21

final destination!

eezypeezylifeisb | 0

#2301645 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:54

docscientist? docbastard did you become a scientist? hmmm I think someone is attempting identity fraud... and starting slow and subtly

KingDingALing | 9

#2301684 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:01

70- That's what I was thinking. That's like making a KingLingADing or something of that sort.

eezypeezylifeisb | 0

#2301747 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:15

I am glad I am not the only one who has noticed this take-over attempt

DocBastard | 38

#2302031 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:38

Nah, docscientist has been around for a while. He's a scientist. I'm a...um...

Hey look, a plane!

KongDongALong | 0

#2302106 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:10

Who would do such a thing, 70 and 71?

dirtyblond | 4

#2302158 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:28

LOLOLOL!^^ i bet you did that account recently, to say something like that. Good one, good one (X

sarapsosis | 1

#2303218 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 9:45

85- lmao wow talk about perfect timing, they were just debating your existence

eezypeezylifeisb | 0

#2303849 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:29

Bastard, Scientist... Ding, Dong... ahh Tomato, Tomahto who really cares who's who in this whoville

By portablecupid | 3

#2300257 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Is your name Robert Downey Jr or Zach Galifianakis by any chance?

picklezz123 | 5

#2300307 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:12

lol it's Ethan tremblay

nutsackmuscle | 0

#2300376 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:19

^win

flirty19 | 0

#2301329 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 3:55

epic win!

Niicky_fml | 20

#2301629 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:52

ha!

Pokeemon | 3

#2302245 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:53

I don't get it

Pokeemon | 3

#2302249 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:55

aww I'm retarded :( I'm so slow

robotiick | 12

#2305138 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 20:08

I belive also Osama lol

Neorecon19 | 18

#2315744 - Friday 8 April 2011 21:02

I blame Third Echelon.

By TapialPaado | 1

#2300343 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:15

...Police escort? What?

MrsPegg | 45

#6301942 - Tuesday 26 May 2015 13:47

When you're in a hurry and need to get somewhere fast, you can request a police escort to lead the way so traffic moves over and you arrive safely (and without tickets).