Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try...

By anonymous - United States

Today, I spent six hours driving between two airports to try and catch my flight. Two trailer accidents, two construction zones, three detours, and one police escort later, the airline wouldn't let me on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38867

You deserved it

3551

Favorite

Transportation

Laundry drama

I CAN HEAR YOU

Great quality control

By hugs511 - United States

Today, I spent my date night babysitting. After waiting three hours later than I was supposed, the mother finally gets home at 11, too late for me to get out and have any fun. Already annoyed, I take the money as she says, "I hope this is enough, I got hungry and spent some of your money." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52464

You deserved it

3131

Favorite

By raven_teen_titan - United States

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24542

You deserved it

3490

Favorite

By pasha - Canada - Beamsville

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30050

You deserved it

2836

Favorite

By notexactly - Sweden

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31903

You deserved it

3284

Favorite

By Barrel - United States

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62512

You deserved it

9012

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32009

You deserved it

2649

Favorite

By CrackHouseBaby - United Kingdom - Manchester

This Is Us

Today, I learned that my parents lied. They didn't meet each other at an acid house rave. They met each other at a crack house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1510

You deserved it

136

Favorite

By mandy - United States

Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26824

You deserved it

6675

Favorite

By screwed - Chile

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12759

You deserved it

29695

Favorite

By Sebastian20 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44226

You deserved it

15573

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/8/2020 05:01

Social distancing

Today, we celebrated our daughter's sixth birthday. Out of the 30 invited, 7 showed up. The last one to cancel this morning told us she was ill. My daughter was in tears as this meant the last remaining playmate couldn't come. My wife later saw her tagged on Facebook at another party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1560

You deserved it

215

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29751

You deserved it

75832

Favorite

By anonymous - Australia

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25482

You deserved it

2375

Favorite

By loo

Today, I had to go claim benefits for the first time since working and paying taxes from the age of 16. I’m 50. They offered me an emergency payment of £1200, and I said no because I was too embarrassed to accept “charity.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

701

You deserved it

2438

Favorite

By Busted - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31975

You deserved it

4233

Favorite

By HBCruiser

Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1432

You deserved it

149

Favorite

By Courts - Australia - Adelaide

Evil

Today, I had a shift as a carer in a high-rise disability home, and working with a lady whom was once a midwife. She had a toy baby, and was rocking it. When I asked her what she was going to do what the baby so she could come to lunch, she casually threw the baby off the balcony and shrugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5443

You deserved it

501

Favorite

By beleria - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27142

You deserved it

2873

Favorite

By 2for1 - Norway - Sandefjord

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1681

You deserved it

133

Favorite

By mistake - United States

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

I agree, your life sucks

100904

You deserved it

5706

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Glen Ellyn

Today, an old friend of mine texted me, saying we should hang out. I thought it was really sweet and was excited to see her again, until she realized that she was texting the wrong person, and canceled our plans immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20419

You deserved it

1309

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 17:00 - United States

Mr. Burns

Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

859

You deserved it

437

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35139

You deserved it

3043

Favorite

By What does this button do? - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my new apprentice took, "What does this button do?" to a new level when he pushed an emergency, "Stop all" button, causing my firm to miss multiple deadlines, causing massive losses In profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6742

You deserved it

620

Favorite

By dantheman - United States

Today, I just got a new assignment for the moving company I work for. Two weeks ago my fiancé dumped me and I moved out of the house. Almost all of the furniture was mine and it took forever. The new moving assignment I have is moving her new boyfriend into my old house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50207

You deserved it

2792

Favorite

By That guy - 15/10/2020 17:01

So you had a bad day…

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

857

You deserved it

Favorite

By SY5623 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35757

You deserved it

1871

Favorite

By georgiahick

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40627

You deserved it

6073

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29131

You deserved it

6079

Favorite

By AquaKelly - United States - Newark

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30736

You deserved it

4725

Favorite

By anugla - United States

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55412

You deserved it

19380

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30400

You deserved it

8306

Favorite

By Alexis - United States

Classy.

Today, I spent 12 hours in an airport rather than go back to the apartment of the man I traveled to see for the weekend. Instead of wine, dine, sixty-nine, he took me to a tailgating event and introduced me to two girls he had a threesome with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3954

You deserved it

630

Favorite

By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28611

You deserved it

2709

Favorite

By Sous_Chef - United States

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36794

You deserved it

3071

Favorite

By my first job - Canada - Westerose

Today, after working for 12 hours in the cold rain on muddy terrain, my coordinator drove down a hill and didn't come back. I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, forced to walk two hours uphill back to HQ to find him there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18069

You deserved it

1154

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Cranford

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26224

You deserved it

3087

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11433

You deserved it

43845

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70155

You deserved it

3551

Favorite

By damn - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49335

You deserved it

7971

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By portablecupid | 3

#2300257 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Is your name Robert Downey Jr or Zach Galifianakis by any chance?

By TehFMLKing | 0

#2300252 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Someones trying to stop you getting on that plane Op. ;)

COMMENTS

By picklezz123 | 5

#2300248 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:05

aw that's too bad

abbi96x | 0

#2300268 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:07

Fail.

MyNameIsBruce | 0

#2300615 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:55

Sounds like another horribly unoriginal comedy movie in the making!

MyDogTastesBad | 0

#2301052 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 2:52

Use the Andy Green Thrust SSC uber fast landspeed vehicle.

Dr_JuanDiaz | 0

#2301424 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:12

Avenged Sevenfold!

Muliar | 0

#2301621 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:50

hax

RavenRiley007 | 4

#2301970 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:21

that's fate mate! or...

picklezz123 | 5

#2302061 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:54

whaaaat?

zoraman5 | 3

#2302237 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:51

Why Avenged o.o?

fml_psl | 0

#2302295 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 8:11

Thats really vry bad

gamercanadian | 11

#2303185 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 9:37

it's called a bad day, we all have it

gutzzzz | 0

#2303492 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 11:29

should have just flown to the other airport to catch your flight, that's what I, a lazy person, would do. :)

khaya | 9

#2304973 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 19:17

Is the OP Rambo.

GigglePony | 13

#2305875 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 23:35

As bad as that sucks...YDI for living in New Jersey.

By TehFMLKing | 0

#2300252 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Someones trying to stop you getting on that plane Op. ;)

chester75 | 5

#2300511 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:36

hahaha I was thinking the same thing

broccoli2 | 0

#2300972 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 2:26

ooooo eagle eye

docscientist | 9

#2301020 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 2:43

But allowing everyone else to get on the plane.

iBanana | 17

#2301158 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 3:18

Maybe it's a plane that's going to blow up.

dirtyblond | 4

#2301438 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:14

It's a SIGN!!!! Oh for Pete's Sake this is a freaken SIGN!!!! :O

OceanBreathesSal | 5

#2301479 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:21

final destination!

eezypeezylifeisb | 0

#2301645 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:54

docscientist? docbastard did you become a scientist? hmmm I think someone is attempting identity fraud... and starting slow and subtly

KingDingALing | 9

#2301684 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:01

70- That's what I was thinking. That's like making a KingLingADing or something of that sort.

eezypeezylifeisb | 0

#2301747 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:15

I am glad I am not the only one who has noticed this take-over attempt

DocBastard | 38

#2302031 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:38

Nah, docscientist has been around for a while. He's a scientist. I'm a...um...

Hey look, a plane!

KongDongALong | 0

#2302106 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:10

Who would do such a thing, 70 and 71?

dirtyblond | 4

#2302158 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:28

LOLOLOL!^^ i bet you did that account recently, to say something like that. Good one, good one (X

sarapsosis | 1

#2303218 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 9:45

85- lmao wow talk about perfect timing, they were just debating your existence

eezypeezylifeisb | 0

#2303849 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 13:29

Bastard, Scientist... Ding, Dong... ahh Tomato, Tomahto who really cares who's who in this whoville

By portablecupid | 3

#2300257 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:06

Is your name Robert Downey Jr or Zach Galifianakis by any chance?

picklezz123 | 5

#2300307 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:12

lol it's Ethan tremblay

nutsackmuscle | 0

#2300376 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:19

^win

flirty19 | 0

#2301329 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 3:55

epic win!

Niicky_fml | 20

#2301629 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:52

ha!

Pokeemon | 3

#2302245 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:53

I don't get it

Pokeemon | 3

#2302249 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 7:55

aww I'm retarded :( I'm so slow

robotiick | 12

#2305138 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 20:08

I belive also Osama lol

Neorecon19 | 18

#2315744 - Friday 8 April 2011 21:02

I blame Third Echelon.

By TapialPaado | 1

#2300343 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 0:15

...Police escort? What?

MrsPegg | 45

#6301942 - Tuesday 26 May 2015 13:47

When you're in a hurry and need to get somewhere fast, you can request a police escort to lead the way so traffic moves over and you arrive safely (and without tickets).