Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer, I ended up in bed with one of them, who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
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Top comments
zanyone 0
so is one beer the most you have ever drank? sounds like a date rape drug to me.
MyNameIsAudrey 0
I've heard of a four beer queer but that is just ridiculous.
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Comments (308)
heatherocity 0
ONE beer? lol do you weigh 15 lbs? that's unheard of. you sure you didn't have a little GHB with that?
Nakedsquirrel 5
...wha? One beer? ONE beer, BEER of all things, and that ****** you up enough to go to bed with one of them? What, are you 8 years old and 40 pounds, and snuck some drinks when your supervisor wasn't around? Not even a petit girl will be shitfaced off of one beer. This FML is a crock.
lotrgeek 10
Actually, everyone's body deals with alcohol in different ways.. Size isn't always the only factor in how fast you get drunk.
T1A2Z3 35
The first time I drank I got drunk off about half a cider. It depends on the person. Maybe she fancied the friend anyway so she didn't have to be too impaired to **** him?
AngelRaven89 0
Bummer that your friend would take advantage of you like that but better with a friend you feel safe with than a stranger in a bar that could have any number of diseases. Now you know better. I am a lightweight as well but it saves money so embrace it! lol
cindybuzz 5
lol. pace yourself next time. but yes, bras are very difficult to put back on yourself when you've had a few drinks. A FEW DRINKS. ;Pxxx
frigidfruit 0
I bet you have trouble keeping your underwear on at church after the Eucharist.
Nakedsquirrel 5
lol, #12 is probably right. "OOooh, I'm like SO wasted right now!!! I just wanna make out with you, c'mere!"
blackdog_fml 0
one beer?
photofool 0
one beer does it for me too, thats why i only drink with people i TRUST.
Jaywin 3
#12/Somagirl has it right. I know a girl just like this. Using the excuse of drinking to act out their inner craziness and try to blame it on the alcohol even though they've only had one drink.
Hellsno 0
After one beer?? When you say one beer, do you mean a 40, cuz there's no way one beer could make you sluttier than normal.