By chase - 25/01/2013 00:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 137
You deserved it 53 096

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Because obviously the best way to feel better about your loneliness is casual sex.

It's cause you deceived him with lies! Lies!

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However, bringing him home I'm the first place was probably a terrible idea.

He's not an ass. He is a victim of false advertising...

Switch and bait!

51 - A problem indeed! One that seems be occurring more and more often...

how would op feel if he wore a padded dong thingy in his underwear that made it look bigger on the outside?

94- Or just a cucumber would suffice. No need to get all fancy-pantsy.

I think an equal comparison would be if he was actually wearing a toupée and had false teeth. And when they are about to "get into it", he takes out all his teeth, takes off the toupée and suddenly she's faced with a teethless monk-lookalike.

That's funny I like that. True though lol

Not a problem to be flat-chested.

Although I completely agree, I can see how being flat chested can bother some girls. There are a lot of guys out there who prefer girls with big boobs, I don't know any guys that has a picture of a beautiful yet skinny and flat chested model hanging over his bed, yet I know a lot who have a picture of girls with big boobs in their room, on their phone, as a screensaver etc. I'm flat chested too and have noticed that guys don't see you as an object, which is good, but for some girls thats exactly the feeling they desire, because they like the attention. Obviously there are also a lot of girls who do it to feel more confident and such, but it just bothers me. It's like celebrities who had plastic surgery, they're cheating.

75, there are also a lot of guys that prefer medium-sized or small breasts. However, I think that guys that prefer big breasts are simply loudest, thus giving false impression that "larger breasts are better".

Hey, I'm more than happy to treat skinny flat chested girls as objects :3 Push up bras don't bother me but implants do, there's nothing sexy about silicone.

Anything more than a handful is a waste.

I think it's best to have medium-sized jubblies. That way you can hide them or add to them or go natural depending on the occasion. When you're like me there's two dressing options: School Marm or Überskank. I like switching between the two. 28E is just a ridiculous size. Like sticking balloons on a toothpick. XD

Flat chests (that is to say small, wideset breasts) used to be considered more attractive in medieval times. Paleness also used to be considered beautiful. This is probably the first era where people who look like Snooki are considered attractive, lol.

Snooki and attractive (or any similar adjective) should never be used in the same sentence.

130-Unless not is being used between the two. And these days, the people who want big breasts on women are mostly assholes. When you find an actual partner, they won't care, cause they're in it for the personality.

Snooki actually looked decent in her high school pics. But that was before she, ya know, turned orange.

It's a subconscious thing. It's the same reason men prefer women with long hair. It's a sign of fertility. It's not even cultural, it's a biological reaction. Just because there were other "styles" in older times doesn't change men's biological preference. I can imagine in a few hundred years people saying "In the 21st century, overweight women with orange skin were considered the epitome of beauty."

@110 - Anything more than a handful is more to motorboat in.

Actually 148 they're's been numerous studies showing that attraction to breasts is a sociological thing over psychological. That is to say, it has a lot more to do with our society covering them up then actually being attracted to them. It's actually rather interesting.

I prefer honesty. I honestly like big boobs. Real or fake. But I never passed on getting to know a small chested woman due to that. Men have several things they look for. If your honest about your itty bitties, we look at other features and personalities. I'd take little boobs on a great girl over a DD hoe that's a bitch any day. I don't lie about my 2 foot dick, so why should you? :P

I'm actually attracted more to smaller chests. Those women seem more down to earth and have better personalities to me.

#148, there is more correlation between waist-hip ratio and attractiveness than there is between breast size and attractiveness. There's also a cross-cultural preference for paler women if I recall correctly. So while your point is right, you're still wrong about breasts. Besides, smaller breasts (like blond hair) are a sign of youth, so there would be a biological reason to prefer them. It doesn't have to do with fertility, and I don't think they really help with feeding offspring because the breasts grow during pregnancy anyway.

Read surveys that they did with men all over the world 95% rather a women with medium to small breasts.

WrongRomance 11

126- I'm small chested and pale. I'd like to go back to medieval times XD It's honestly kind of hard to even find bras that aren't push up. But I refuse to wear them. Eventually your bra will come off, i'd rather not make that a surprise. Small boobs have a lot of benefits, too.

True that, all the big-breasted girls are probably jealous of my ability to do jumping jacks and run up stairs without pain. And no back pain, yay!

WrongRomance 11

Benefits: 1. You can sleep on your stomach. 2. Bra is optional. 3. Hugs are literally closer. 4. Pretty much no jiggle. 5. More bras in stock+cuter bras 6. Won't sag when you're old.

in fact I and most ppl I know want to be flat chested

Boobie hide 'n' seek.

I call YDI for false advertising.

t********* de cal*** -__- this was meant to be a comment for OP. sorry.

I'll count to 10! You better be gone when I open my eyes.

Peek-a-boobie!

Peeka boob! :D Edit: I saw 36 just now, please don't eat me. ._.

Sorry, mate. *licks, smacks lips, sprinkles a bit if salt on you.* OM-NOM-NOM-NOM!!!

Wonder bra: leaves you wondering where they went!

It's cause you deceived him with lies! Lies!

reminds me of an old FML where the dad said: 'The reason they call it a wonderbra is that after you take it of they wonder where they went!'

The end of this FML needs to be changed to "F-His-L." Deception on this level is just absolutely crushing. Getting our hopes up...

Dude, I wear a push-up bra to make my breasts look SMALLER (it works, if I wear it under a tank top with a built-in bra). I'm an E-cup. If I wear a normal bra I look terrifying (I have a pretty tiny waist - I gain weight in my breasts and hips, little bit on the thighs - people accuse me of having implants. NOPE). I can also make them look smaller by wearing baggier clothing (men's t-shirts, slightly-too-large hoodies, my hockey jersey). I don't wear low-cut tops anymore, for fear of boobsplosion. So I guess I'm falsely advertising smaller boobs than I actually have, but by this rather misogynistic standard, that's be okay because they'd turn out to be bigger than originally thought? All a push-up bra does is exactly what's in the name. Pushes everything UP so you have the appearance of more cleavage. And they often aren't padded, there isn't any LESS boob there, they're just not smooshed up against your chest anymore.

I have big boobs. Mine are a G cup. I don't get extra attention from men. I don't WANT extra attention from men (so all is good) I don't wear baggy clothes. I just wear normal clothes, being slightly low cut, but only because I look weird with tops and dresses that have a high neck line. I personally don't like my boobs and would like them smaller, but I'd never do anything about it. I think it's a thing with girls though, they want what they don't have... But not sounding spoilt. For e.g. Girls with straight hair, usually want curly and vice versa. And it's the same with boobs. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was giving herself some confidence which she felt she needed after a breakup. Granted, she probably shouldn't have taken him home, but I don't see the problem with what she did. It was only a one night stand. She wasn't lying to him.

Have you never picked up a Victoria Secret pushup bra? At the very least seen an advertisement for them saying "Adds two cup sizes guaranteed"? They most definitely have a ton of padding, two cup sizes worth or more. It's ridiculous, you can poke the inside and watch your finger vanish

Because obviously the best way to feel better about your loneliness is casual sex.

I don't know about you, but casual sex always seems to bring a smile to my face.

Only way to get over someone is to get under someone else

New coffee mug quote.

Sometimes after A breakup (especially after a bad breakup) you need to feel loved. Granted, it's possibly not the best way to go about it, but I'm sure everyone here has had a one night stand before. There's nothing wrong with it.

Nope, sorry. No one night stands here. They also would not make me feel loved. It'd make me feel like trash, but maybe that's just me.

Nice way to rationalize it for yourself, 156.

I wasn't rationalising anything. I'm not the type of girl to have a one night stands. Been there, didn't like it, but I don't see anything wrong with them. I know some of my friends who have had one night stands after a break up (but not straight away) and it made them feel a bit better. I'm not saying OP is the type of girl like that, I guess it depends on personality type. I was just saying that was one possibility

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Is OP perhaps Taylor swift? I guess not or this would've been a song not an fml.

So? It's her choice.

Yeah, this is stupid. I broke up with a guy and immediately started seeing/sleeping with another. I've been with him eight years. Also, if a guy did this? NO ONE would have a second thought. Which is just ass-backwards. Women can disconnect sex from love just as easily as men can.

112 - actually, no, we can't. Not biologically, at least. There's a very powerful chemical released in a woman's brain that creates a strong attachment to another person. This chemical is released on 3 occasions: childbirth, breast feeding, and orgasm. That's why you always want to snuggle and be intimate on a deeper level after sex. Some girls may be capable of ignoring that desire to connect for a little while, but it is very rarely a long term thing. That's why casual sex is a bad idea for both men and women (trashiness and skyrocketing potential for disease contraction aside), and why "friends with benefits" almost never works for any extended period of time. There is SO much more involved with sex than the penis-in-vagina (or whatever your pleasure) mechanics.

136, you sound like you read that (rather foolish) post about women and oxytocin. I suggest you do a little research before spouting things off you've read on the internet as fact since women actually release that chemical a lot.

136 - not to mention orgasms are not necessarily guaranteed from a one night stand....

Sounds like you've been brainwashed by something on the internet, 136. The majority of women who have casual sex understand what it is and do not choose to do it because they want to use it as a starting point for building relationships. Women definitely do not "always" want to cuddle after sex or latch onto their sexual partner emotionally. This isn't a woman choosing to "ignore" her "desires"...she may not have such a desire at all. This can also apply in relationships. For example, I'm female and my male ex was way more cuddly and clingy after sex than I was. I just wanted him to leave me alone so I go to sleep or leave. With the number of women who regularly have casual sex with different partners, if women always reacted this way (getting overly attached to every one-night-stand), a great many more psychiatric hospitals would exist in this world just to deal with rampant abandonment and attachment issues.

YDI for trying to get away with false advertisement .

And YDI for being a slut

That's exactly what I came here to say. It's no different than if a guy had spent the night with a roll of silver dollars in his pants.

I.N.U.Y.A.S.H.A

You should of slid your hand down between his legs and without skipping a beat said where'd it go?

Why would you hook up with a guy that soon anyway? If I recently broke up with someone, a girl would be the last thing on my mind.

42, what the fuck are you talking about?

107- the world may never know.

Depends on the nature of the breakup. If OP's ex trashed her heart and/or self-esteem, she might be in a "fuck the world" phase where she wants to feel attractive and desired. She wants her ex to feel it when she scratches her nails down someone else's back. Women wear makeup, false eyelashes (well, I don't), push-up bras and other lingerie, and other things to make themselves look attractive because it's what society demands. A sober man may have been able to tell that she took off a bra that enhanced her assets, but a drunk guy clearly wasn't. Next time, OP, make sure the guy you take home is the designated driver.

Tell him they got held up and will appear later.