Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML
Today, I realised my parrot loves to masturbate on anything soft I own, like my sweater, house socks, blanket, and even my hair bun on the top of my head. I only realised this when my boyfriend pointed out that my parrot was humping my bun. FML
Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
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Top comments
Ukeee_X 19
You let your parrot see/hear those things? I couldn't do it with an audience. Again, you should get a gag.
karlcolt45 19
I don't think I could keep my compass pointed north with a parrot in the room...you must have a very accommodating boyfriend
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Comments (68)
Conasaur 8
Time to start screaming awesome movie lines in bed.
megank12 17
Is your parrot named Robert Plant?
Enslaved 36
"Shake for me, girl. I wanna be your backdoor man." When I first heard Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love", I thought Robert Plants moans sounded more like he was getting ready to sneeze! :P
RedPillSucks 31
I sang that song out loud in front of my mom when I was in middle school, before I understood what the words really meant. Couldn't look her in the eye for a long time after she set me straight.
Jac_d_ipper 10
You can now train the parrot to help whenever you want to fake it.
buddy51 23
"Polly wants a delicious cream pie and a Minnesota Hot Pocket to go!!"
PipingMouse 14
That parrot must be pretty smart to learn so many noises. It's be funny of you used it for a prank.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Parrots are very intelligent birds. They have the mental capacity to learn a vast vocabulary and have the intelligence to form coherent sentences instead of merely mimicking sounds, words, and phrases that they have heard or have been taught. I have heard of parrots that can carry on conversations and respond to questions and statements. Of course not every breed of parrot can and not every parrot in the same breed as the ones who can have the same ability.
perdix 29
The wording of this story is disturbing -- the OP calls his or her mom and dog and then sex noises follow. The yuck meter has been pegged!
sugarshane007 20
Come on OP, the parrot is just trying to inform your neighbors of the fun that can be had at your place. Don't look at it negatively, instead, turn it into an advertising opportunity!
LONERANGER44 11
Make a vid of it
Bubbelz 25
You call your dog?
procrastinator91 4
Wow you must be really loud!