Hermit life

By Pookaa - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 116
You deserved it 8 376

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Top comments

futtbuck101 1

Well, who was it?

Save_Bandit 5

Two valid responses: "Apparently I'm bring robbed!" Or "Why are you staring into my living room?"


futtbuck101 1

Well, who was it?

Like the movie Yes Man.

enonymous 8

Dave's not here man

#1 - I think the implication is that it was her. But what she said was "That would be my BF - he's just back from Afghanistan".

She deserves it, why the hell are people so stupid?

1 OP should say "it's my stepsister."

stacianichole 2

Is that when a person can't come within 300 feet of their family and loved ones offering to help him/her get the help he/she needs because they love & care about the person but OH MY GOD don't come any closer!!!

I think this was more of an FML not for lying, but for the guy raring into OP's living room...

I think this was more of an FML not for lying, but for the guy raring into OP's living room...

Lol That moment you're heart stops, when you know you're busted and can't think of a proper excuse.

35- you tell me, judging by your comment im going to guess you have a lifetime of experience

ibedestinie 0

#29... you're dumb!

Caramelox 3


rallets 22

i hate the phrase "that moment..."

Haha *phone suddenly rings* what's your favorite scary movie?

Immoral 0


"Sorry that was a typo. I'm not going to be home today... or this week... or for the rest of the month actually."

Best reference.

Llama_Face89 33

That's pretty creepy. :

What if it was a robber!?!

Just say that's me but I'm about to leave for work/shop whatever.

Llama_Face89 33

37- It was OP. They said they weren't home to avoid this person but the person was apparently watching them through the window.

We assume. She doesn't actually say that she was home and lying.

Listen to #109. according to his profile he has tones of experience in this area

yougotapes 7

Lying isn't the way to go...

You like standing too?

yougotapes 7

Standing sitting meh I guess so

Stalking isn't the way to go.

Hungry for a rubix cube??

Stalkers 0

Stalking is fun. You learn a lot about someone.

RandOmPhyXiO 5

The person is creepy and wont go away soo i think lieing is the way to go

bfsd42 20

Nobody ever said the person was a stalker or creeper. Maybe op is avoiding them because she is avoiding paying back a debt or something.

aimeesea75 16

But the person that OP wad avoiding was looking into OP's living room. If that isn't stalkerish then I don't know what is.

anjelicjazzy 6

51: love how your name applies to this FML haha

I don't know, maybe they were supposed to be pretty good friends. I know I wouldn't worry about showing up at my friend's house until I got there and then I might just decide to mess with him and ask, only to barge in and say, "told you I'd be here soon."

Save_Bandit 5

Two valid responses: "Apparently I'm bring robbed!" Or "Why are you staring into my living room?"

Save_Bandit 5


U got u profile pic from ifunny way to go

nollid7 5

He probably knocked up that person and has been trying to avoid them. Learn the game Op.

4- the third valid response, "what the fuck are you doing in my living room?!"

kings1fan 6

Man I can't stand people like that! I feel your pain OP

F-u-c-k this site double post

I think most of the time they would go away if you just told them you didn't like them. Honesty is the way to go.

It wouldn't work if OP is an adult and living on their own. But it's a smart idea.

Tell them you're avoiding them.

OP should reply "that's my grandma bathing, are u peeking at her? You peeping tom!"

Not in the living room hopefully.

Haha! @12 that made me laugh!

In the living room?...

Or OP could have just done an evil laugh, whispered im coming for you, and then turn towards the "friend" slowly and creepily Problem solved

Thats not at all creepy...

emerynce1326 0

Well obviously you never had a creepy stalker.

Sun_Kissed18 25

Well obviously you have never heard of sarcasm

RockstarRN 10

I believe she was bring sarcastic. Hence the....

just say its your sister or something....then again u could have made a better excuse