Stalker, Nice Guys and Love: He's one of those people - FML

He's one of those people

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Sudbury

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 869

You deserved it 3 266

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Same thing different taste

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 516

You deserved it 8 271

By Anonymous - 09/09/2014 16:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 816

You deserved it 4 155

By freckle82 - 12/05/2009 13:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 632

You deserved it 4 553

By Anonymous - 02/10/2018 03:00

Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 254

You deserved it 310

By Kiki - 08/03/2013 21:22 - Poland - Myslenice

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 265

You deserved it 5 591

I'm trash

By skreweduP - 15/06/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his Facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 332

You deserved it 3 801

By Anonymous - 31/07/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 034

You deserved it 338

By hunting7waves - 25/09/2015 05:31 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 1 898

By Bilirubin - 20/02/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 766

You deserved it 3 962

By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 07:49 - Australia - Southport

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 667

You deserved it 4 108

Next

Top comments

Cads1 24

Saturday 11 July 2015 7:11

Wow, crazy much?

MattStro 23

Saturday 11 July 2015 7:11

Somebodies a little impatient.

Comments

Rammer3500 23

Wednesday 29 July 2015 3:09

If he takes your delay time in response that harshly, you dont want him.

PrimeStarscream 30

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:40

A guy who calls you a **** is just a loser fuckboy and you don't need him. You dodged a bullet.

Rectov 10

Sunday 9 August 2015 19:01

Oas- overly attached syndrome

xJigglyPuffx 5

Monday 10 August 2015 8:58

Woooow that's mental. Tell him to get lost.

kilarbos 14

Wednesday 12 August 2015 17:33

lmao, men like these, you dodged a bullet.

Rebecca Mack 7

Tuesday 9 January 2018 4:33

Well, accidentally dodged a bullet!

sharond23 10

Sunday 14 January 2018 20:15

atleast you found out early that he's nuts.

DLBL 21

Tuesday 6 January 2026 13:39

Jeez, that guy is bad news, boy howdy. But, not all men are like that.

DLBL 21

Wednesday 18 March 2026 21:20

One asshat should not make you eschew all men. Don't give that creep that kind of power over you.

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Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 195

Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 182

You deserved it 605

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 319

You deserved it 6 605

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 314

You deserved it 34 847

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 730

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I found out my mom can't wait until I turn 18, so she can kick me out and turn my room into a huge closet for all her clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 290

You deserved it 2 037