By Too Late - 19/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Sheboygan

Hard test

Today, I went in to take my College Placement tests. I'd spent all week ignoring actual homework to study for these tests. When I got there, the responsible told me that the tests were last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

814

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1922

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Miscellaneous

Whatthefuckaburger

Yappy neighborhood

Weird kid

By Anonymous - 1/6/2009 10:46 - United States

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

I agree, your life sucks

21940

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51426

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By Anonymous - 23/9/2011 22:24 - Germany

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33635

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4931

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By lonely - 15/7/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40503

You deserved it

20471

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By Jordan - 2/4/2015 19:58 - Jordan - Amman

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27504

You deserved it

8402

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28682

You deserved it

6962

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By asdfBUTT - 6/3/2012 01:36 - United States

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9445

You deserved it

32022

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By LittleRed - 5/3/2012 08:45 - United States

Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29866

You deserved it

4238

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By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3519

You deserved it

400

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By desigirl - 10/11/2015 01:03 - United States - Johnson City

Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23070

You deserved it

3402

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By Cxisbest - 23/3/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, as I walked home, I heard the people behind me in an argument over my gender. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44869

You deserved it

10612

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By Lesbian - 4/8/2017 13:00

Today I took my girlfriend to the cafe where we had our first date, with the intention of proposing. Moments before I took the ring out, some sleazy old guy said "how are you two fine babes single on a Saturday?" He refused to leave us alone even when we said we were on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5860

You deserved it

497

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By anonymous - 18/12/2016 03:15

Today, my pregnant sister has apparently always loved my boyfriend's name and wants to give it to her child. She expects me to break up with my boyfriend so "it doesn't get weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7901

You deserved it

429

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By iamrose - 13/6/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, as I was rehearsing a kissing scene for a play, I realized that before this play, the last guy I had kissed was the same one I was kissing now. It was also for a play. Four and a half years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51830

You deserved it

5687

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By hairy - 8/3/2012 14:30 - Serbia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24425

You deserved it

13765

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By faux ma - 29/4/2012 03:06 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8152

You deserved it

32586

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By Anonymous - 14/3/2014 04:06 - Canada - London

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52762

You deserved it

7291

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By Anonymous - 18/1/2011 06:16 - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32793

You deserved it

6961

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By hoolagirl4422 - 20/9/2013 11:23 - Hong Kong - Kennedy Town

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51809

You deserved it

9360

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By lordtimbit - 15/3/2015 15:01 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34548

You deserved it

3018

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By Jes_jes18 - 2/5/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks

66747

You deserved it

7657

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By patch91 - 5/4/2011 02:03

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38758

You deserved it

3159

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By Anonymous - 19/5/2015 20:49 - Germany - Stuttgart

Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29179

You deserved it

2566

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By thatonekid - 6/5/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my dad texted me and told me "I love u." I answer back with "I love you too dad...are you drunk?" and he answers back "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69906

You deserved it

5155

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By ugh - 31/1/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36643

You deserved it

5535

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By insomniac - 19/6/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent hour. Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 hours of sleep. Right as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive right in front of my house with the sirens/lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47189

You deserved it

4710

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2018 20:30

Today, I was watching my 2-year-old sister in the bathtub. As she was splashing, she stopped, and pointed at the "owie" on my head. I told her it was okay, and that it was just a pimple. She said, "Wow, you have a lot of pimples!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

3061

You deserved it

336

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By clewie - 31/8/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1711

You deserved it

103

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By Anonymous - 9/5/2015 18:50 - United States - Humble

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26144

You deserved it

11030

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By Anonymous - 24/12/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32613

You deserved it

13312

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By Joel - 28/10/2018 15:30

Today, I got a ticket for doing 38mph in a 45mph zone. Apparently you can be cited for "impeding traffic" even when you're the only car on the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2836

You deserved it

1037

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2015 12:58 - India - Mumbai

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30228

You deserved it

3089

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By fucktheearth - 20/4/2016 03:32 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was sitting at my desk when out of nowhere I had a "silent sneeze attack". Someone in the office called the paramedics because they thought I was having a seizure. This is the third time this has happened this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21352

You deserved it

1990

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By reserved - 22/10/2012 09:01 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27853

You deserved it

1938

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2020 05:00

Who are you?

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 5 years only got divorced last year. I never even knew he was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1730

You deserved it

246

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By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 20:13 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41623

You deserved it

7217

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By Anonymous - 19/1/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23092

You deserved it

2713

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32912

You deserved it

114782

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By NeverGonnaGetIt - 27/4/2019 12:00 - United States - Wayne

Today, I went on my 56th job interview since graduating from college 3 months ago. I am 31 years old and I spent 11 years in college. I only graduated with a Bachelor's Degree after all those years, but I am still not qualified for anything due to how long it took me to complete my degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1805

You deserved it

1433

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By Fatty - 6/5/2009 15:04 - United States

Today, I was excited about my friend going wedding dress shopping. Before I went to go work out, I decided to try on a prom dress from high school to remember what it felt like to get dressed up. It was too tight, I broke the zipper, and spent 45 minutes trapped before I cut myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21511

You deserved it

41434

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By theRoomie - 2/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34675

You deserved it

2812

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Top comments

By bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7868323 - Thursday 19 December 2019 15:07

What is a responsible? Also, how do you not know when to take your test?

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7868204 - Thursday 19 December 2019 3:14

Oh well there’s always next year

COMMENTS

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7868204 - Thursday 19 December 2019 3:14

Oh well there’s always next year

By RichardPencil | 28

#7868228 - Thursday 19 December 2019 7:49

You should have studied the test date better! You might need to get a tutor to help with test location, dum-dum.

By bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7868323 - Thursday 19 December 2019 15:07

What is a responsible? Also, how do you not know when to take your test?

By shannon2348 | 14

#7868399 - Thursday 19 December 2019 20:04

I'm not really sure how you could make that mistake. Weren't there others from your class taking it? Seems like you all would have been talking about it. ydi