Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said, "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Today, I told a customer her total was $89.40. She put her leg up on the counter and dug a $100 bill out of her nasty sock. It was damp. FML
Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML
Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
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Top comments
Godfreyy 2
That's TOE-tally uncalled for
Wreckless_fml 6
The hell?!
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Comments (73)
mistersheezy 7
I think I just threw up a little bit.
deathbreadstick 10
I wouldn't have grabbed them and told her where the trash can was. Problem solved.
False_Stupidity 41
Except the OP was told this AFTER they had grabbed them...
deathbreadstick 10
I would not have grabbed them in the first place.
a_nutritionist 10
bitches like that are one of the reasons i dont like using public facilities of any kind, she has no respect for other peoples things. you should now charge her for damages. too bad you didnt have another customer cuss her out for you.
bluebell707 13
That is foul
psykokandy 3
Aaaand customers like that are the reason your fml could've simply been, "I work with people and their feet." fyl indeed.
punkin_26 16
LOL! That would've sufficed
lexiipricee 0
Thats nasty.
dadof2 4
first how many pairs of shoes did she try on thats kind of a public health concern second when idiots do that it should be perfectly leagal to stamp their forhead with a stamp that says im a inconsederate a@@
cbdee 8
LMFAO!!! oh that is too funny. OP shulda threw it right in that fungi having face of hers!!!
Wheredidgrungego 12
That's really not something you say out loud. Especially in public
mikeeg 0
Should've rubbed them all over your body. Yummmmy.
False_Stupidity 41
You made me puke.. :O===(#)