Weird, Creepy and Intimacy: Great conversation starter - FML

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 3 728

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By fme - 27/01/2018 15:00

Spicy

Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 825

You deserved it 358

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 909

You deserved it 2 682

Freaked out

By anon - 07/02/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 135

Comeback

By Pinsky - 20/09/2021 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 1 905

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 630

You deserved it 3 252

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 15:01 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 81

Pants on fire

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 96

By Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 2 664

By paintfarts1976 - 10/05/2013 19:01 - Ireland - Mullingar

Spicy

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 170

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 20/12/2016 07:28

Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 797

You deserved it 532

Next

Top comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:02

"Well...only of you incest."

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:11

Sigh... If you*

Comments

Airman1988 9

Friday 23 December 2011 12:23

Maybe he has met all his ex girls at family reunions

margapp 3

Friday 23 December 2011 12:24

doesn't sound like a normal guy.

redrumbear 9

Friday 23 December 2011 12:53

What is normal?

chippedipp 0

Friday 23 December 2011 12:24

Was it your brother?

aFreedom127 9

Friday 23 December 2011 12:25

Incest is better than nocest! Seriously, was this your cousin, brother, uncle?

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 23 December 2011 15:30

Was the one guy all three?

xMissxMurderx 1

Friday 23 December 2011 12:28

Was it your uncle, brother, dad, or cousin?

alexh15 13

Friday 23 December 2011 12:29

Wow. Slick

shrekus 0

Friday 23 December 2011 12:34

The closer the kin, the deeper within.... Not!

StarSkipRainbow 0

Friday 23 December 2011 12:35

Hahahahaha!!!!!

chenry1 4

Friday 23 December 2011 12:40

Do you live in West Virginia? I hear they do that a lot there. Maybe......IDK

SouthernPride95 19

Friday 23 December 2011 15:52

Cough Dumb Ass

shaggy8778 4

Friday 23 December 2011 20:37

Thank you...I was reading through comments waiting for a wv comment...

danielvb420 2

Sunday 25 December 2011 7:00

fail + stereotype= you

theonlysweetpea 10

Friday 23 December 2011 12:53

That made me vomit...

Sinamoi 18

Friday 23 December 2011 14:32

Wow, then try not to look up Red Pancake. Might send you into shock. No, in all seriousness this isn't THAT bad. It doesn't say they did anything, the guy's just a bit of a creeper.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 101

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 763

You deserved it 10 103

The Top

Today, I went to the cemetery to visit a friend. As I was looking for his burial plot, I fell into a dug out grave and had to call my partner to come help me get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 458

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 790

You deserved it 5 265

Today, we're starting group projects in my English class. One of my group members hasn't shown up to class all semester, and the other is an exchange student who can't speak English very well. Guess who's doing all of the work on their own… FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 63

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 856

You deserved it 2 427

Today, despite my asking her several times, my mom seems incapable of putting dog food in a bowl. She just throws it on the floor, where you step on it, slip on it, the doors get stuck on it and the tiles are now full of greasy dog food crumbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 89

Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 122