Today, I was at my friend's house for the first time in months. I saw her new Chihuahua, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit… straight into my eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandma who has a beagle named Max. He was so excited to see me, he jumped on my face and peed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
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Top comments
MiniatureMayhem 0
Chihuahuas tend to do that.
that_guy321 2
you, my good sir/ma'am, fail miserably
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Comments (52)
littlegirl12_fml 0
probably because its animal cruelty to throw a dog in the air?
null_fml 11
Just using an old post to test something here...
kile88 2
why would you lift a puppy in the air anyway ?? its like lifting a baby in the air.. its cruel and you had that one coming
LoosechangeXxXx 0
That is not that bad FML for having to read this.
MustangFilly77 9
OMFG!
MustangFilly77 9
That's just nasty....
Cnote231 0
if it's smaller than a rat and you can kill it by stepping on it... it's not a dog!
Happier_fml 1
Haha I'll stick with my cat who ***** on my shoes thanks! XD
PuppiesKisses 19
Yup puppies can be notorious for that. It could be waaaay worse. I picked up my moms tortoise with his mouth facing out because I was paranoid of being bitten. It promptly shit all over the front of me. They explosively spray white poop.