Dogs, Poopoo peepee and Kids: Good boy

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 6 141

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Same thing different taste

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 4 370

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 758

You deserved it 9 575

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 3 832

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 419

You deserved it 3 345

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 063

You deserved it 490

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 957

You deserved it 1 778

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 30 111

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 110

You deserved it 139

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 370

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 468

Kefka91 15

Wednesday 16 March 2011 7:58

pick it up Brian. PICK UP MY POO!

afdude87 6

Wednesday 16 March 2011 7:57

Shitty

Comments

TheRealLori 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 11:49

Rub his nose in it and whack his stupid butt with a rolled up newspaper. I bet he won't do it again.

smileeee_fml 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 12:10

LOL yr son is so cute , i wouldnt expect that from a 5 year old hahaha

talktomandybaby 8

Wednesday 16 March 2011 12:13

this made my day :)

YouDeservedItnot 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 12:21

Kid doesn't take "shit" from anybody!

OCDC 9

Wednesday 16 March 2011 16:53

No, he just gives it.

gotbiscuits 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 12:24

Your dog is like a boss and so is your son.

JustinThunder 8

Wednesday 16 March 2011 12:54

Congratulations. Your son is a badass.

clashatdemonhead 3

Wednesday 16 March 2011 14:28

that kid... he is pretty epic

Chanayaa 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 14:43

this is fucken hilarious

rinranthatway 4

Wednesday 16 March 2011 15:26

when I have kids I can imagine them doing this

Hawkcody1958 1

Wednesday 16 March 2011 15:28

commanded?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 366

The Top

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 3 276

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 793

You deserved it 3 706

Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 936

You deserved it 6 812

Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 1 165

Today, I beat my old college friend at CoD and mocked him vigorously, to which he replied, “Don’t feel bad for me, I have a hot wife, a baby on the way, and a house I paid off by selling my business. How are you?” I… won a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 707

Today, my husband is adamant he's not a cheater, because, "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free." Apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML

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You deserved it 224