Dogs, Poopoo peepee and Kids: Good boy

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 6 141

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Same thing different taste

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 4 370

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 758

You deserved it 9 575

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 3 832

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 419

You deserved it 3 345

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 063

You deserved it 490

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 957

You deserved it 1 778

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 30 111

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 110

You deserved it 139

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 370

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 468

Kefka91 15

Wednesday 16 March 2011 7:58

pick it up Brian. PICK UP MY POO!

afdude87 6

Wednesday 16 March 2011 7:57

Shitty

Comments

moogiex9 6

Wednesday 16 March 2011 17:33

Does it occur to anyone that this is a fake FML? Think about it - a five year old in a schoolyard - where does he magically produce a ziploc baggie from? And, even if he did for some reason have a baggie, this scenario is completely unrealistic. What would be really happening is a bunch of other kids would notice and start screaming and running to tell the teacher, said teacher would come charging over to pooping child and demand to know what he thought he was doing, child would be embaressed and probably start either laughing or crying, but certainly not giving orders.

zniltiaC 19

Wednesday 16 March 2011 18:37

Yeah that's right bitch, pick up my shit!

krez 20

Wednesday 16 March 2011 18:44

At least you won't have to worry about getting a ticket when your kid craps on the neighbors lawn. He knows it needs to be scooped up.

beastin34 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 18:52

hahaha total win

jess6blondie9 2

Wednesday 16 March 2011 19:24

^ win

d0gl0ver16 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 19:46

how old is he?

kykyshay 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 20:03

Oh. I'm sure all kids do that.

laughingman 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 20:03

I had to read that twice to make sure you wrote that right at 1st I thought you made it out that the teacher wanted your son to pick it up XD

HomeAl0ne 20

Wednesday 16 March 2011 20:16

I would have fronted up at the school, sniffed the principal's butt, humped the teachers' leg and then laid down to lick my balls before asking them what the exact problem was. Dogs get away with stuff that would make Charlie Sheen's face melt off.