Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said, "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML
Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML
Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML
Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think I would die laughing if my mom said that.
ceccles628 6
I'm pretty sure that commercial has some sexual undertones
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Comments (73)
shaka_Z_0929007 10
It's ok. My mom screamed out she wanted to be Harry Styles cougar mama.
k18dinkleman 3
Lets just hope she's talking about the correct drain
firefightereha 4
if she's hot I'll snake her drain. lol
SuiGeneris01 2
That's the double impact commercial. Oh yeah, she wants that double impact, pact all the way into her drain.
AZbeastboSS 2
I'm permanently scared too
breezylynnx3456 3
i said the same exact thing as her.. he was a babe!
funny_but_sad 4
Your mom is epic.
cmars3 7
Your mom is a person with needs too lol
bunnytrainer 4
Actually, that would be an image. Imagery is a collection of similar images. One image would just be an image
goldengirl96 5
I'm pretty sure my mom would say the exact same thing. Sorry bro