Thief and Miscellaneous: Get a move on!

Get a move on!

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 621

You deserved it 5 143

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Same thing different taste

The definition of irony

By Rastaa_Reyes - 16/05/2019 23:52

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 3 001

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 314

You deserved it 2 632

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 782

You deserved it 2 731

By SwimSquid - 15/04/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 578

You deserved it 8 096

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 475

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 658

You deserved it 47 740

By anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 029

You deserved it 1 603

By me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 117

You deserved it 1 727

Running late

By albert - 13/05/2009 12:36 - United Kingdom

Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 368

You deserved it 4 147

By observant - 15/05/2012 14:24 - United States

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 937

You deserved it 2 411

abceasyas123abc 12

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:47

All for one and one for all..?!

cynthiaFTW 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:49

is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?

Comments

amadan 0

Friday 10 June 2011 2:54

If you didn't run at all why/how would you have gotten to the car at all? either way that sucks

cheezter 15

Friday 10 June 2011 3:07

op shoulda walked home, snitches get stitches

specialized_fml 0

Friday 10 June 2011 3:08

ha ha sucker

taw6969 0

Friday 10 June 2011 3:20

moms is a g.. lol freaking hilarious

THEgirlNEXTdoor0_fml 8

Friday 10 June 2011 3:38

i dont get it wallmart is like cheap and allways on sale that like the last store were i will ever shoplift at !

heyred 11

Friday 10 June 2011 4:35

How proud you must be.

Chrispayne 4

Friday 10 June 2011 4:52

Wow. Security gave u a ride home. Sucks to be then they are so fired

sweeetooth 4

Friday 10 June 2011 5:18

hahahahhaahhahahahahahahahhahahhah I'm sorry but that is just too funny! ur mother is bad ass!

beckham_732 3

Friday 10 June 2011 5:20

that's just straight out bad parenting!!! kinda feel bad.

Laura_Sophia 0

Friday 10 June 2011 5:29

i wish my mom was like that lmao

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 59

The Top

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 052

You deserved it 10 401

Today, I got curious and decided to look for my ex's social media after he blocked me off everything. I found him on LinkedIn and it is only after I click on his profile that I remembered, he will be notified that I looked him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 3 602

Today, my now ex-boyfriend got us evicted. The lazy prick kept throwing dog poop onto the neighbors' patio instead of disposing it properly. Management told him he could either get rid of the dog or we had to go. My ex refused and slammed the door in his face. The lease is in my name, so my credit is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 246

Today, my coworker threw a bitch fit about not getting a promotion she'd applied for. My other coworker had got it, so after her fit, management worked something out: they gave the promotion to her, and the coworker that originally had it was given a promotion that I'd been promised for months. Now I have none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 82

Today, a customer came up to me with a can of ground black pepper and asked me what the ingredients were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 305

You deserved it 825

Today, a nice doctor in his 40s asked me on a date and, despite the age difference, I was thinking about it… until my mom recognised him. He was the trainee doctor who helped me be born 22 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 142

Get a move on!

Same thing different taste

The definition of irony

Running late

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