By Anonymous

Curiosity!

Today, I got curious and decided to look for my ex's social media after he blocked me off everything. I found him on LinkedIn and it is only after I click on his profile that I remembered, he will be notified that I looked him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

540

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Love

Instadrama

Walk on the wild side

Covid 19 ain't going anywhere

By Sonotsuave - United States - Arlington

Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1728

You deserved it

119

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By Lee - United States

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25656

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2909

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28960

You deserved it

2505

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By Anon - United States

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks

86492

You deserved it

9289

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By Mitcha857 - United States

Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31704

You deserved it

3851

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45828

You deserved it

5517

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By drew the short straw

Today, I had to follow a pony that had flatulent, severe diarrhoea for an hour in order to collect enough liquid for a sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2252

You deserved it

198

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By URGH - Canada

Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML

I agree, your life sucks

15018

You deserved it

50607

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By Loot - United States

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36880

You deserved it

6030

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By Anonymous - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27917

You deserved it

4306

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By Anonymous - United States - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31186

You deserved it

7938

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By lauramarie - Canada

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27469

You deserved it

15537

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By Anonymous - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3173

You deserved it

222

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By Anonymous - 3/4/2020 14:00

Hard to bare

Today, I was showing my boss a picture on my phone. I didn’t expect her to take my phone from my hand and continue to flip through photos. I anxiously motioned for her to give my phone back, only to realize she had already swiped to my nude picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1538

You deserved it

637

Favorite

By ignored - Canada

Wait here

Today, I showed up on time for a job interview. After waiting for about three hours, I was informed that the manager had "better things to do" than interview me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1893

You deserved it

100

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By jellymoon14 - United States

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37758

You deserved it

4020

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By fretting - United States - Fort White

Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12980

You deserved it

1723

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34362

You deserved it

16924

Favorite

By :( - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40588

You deserved it

4804

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By vadoodoo22 - France

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27821

You deserved it

3223

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/3/2021 02:01 - United States

Whipping boy

Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

755

You deserved it

Favorite

By bill - United States - Pasadena

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29904

You deserved it

2656

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By MLeguillon - United States - Imperial

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52503

You deserved it

4217

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By Anonymous

Today, I learned after weeks of waiting that my order of vinyl siding had been shipped to a contractor in another state, who installed it without realizing it was the wrong style and color. I would have to wait weeks for a new shipment, except the manufacturer has discontinued it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2610

You deserved it

146

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2020 14:02 - United States

Thanks, I hate it!

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

967

You deserved it

405

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By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30405

You deserved it

14119

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By socknotes - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19723

You deserved it

1426

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34778

You deserved it

23549

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By kbrider - United States

Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47072

You deserved it

9149

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By anonymous - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29924

You deserved it

6044

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By KingUrge - United States - Victorville

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46307

You deserved it

9672

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By dormlyfe - United States - Moraga

Today, I met new people at my dorm, only to find they already knew me because they listen to my boyfriend and me have sex all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17967

You deserved it

22650

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By MWT77 - United States - Chicago

Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1782

You deserved it

Favorite

By NoFunForMe - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26346

You deserved it

2386

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By Lisa

Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes I understood why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2977

You deserved it

901

Favorite

By A Henderson - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27075

You deserved it

2235

Favorite

By Acneface - France

Today, I got my hair done, eyebrows waxed, and a new expensive dress to impress my boyfriend. When I got home I asked him if he noticed anything different about me. He looked at me for one minute before asking, "Did you finally start using Proactive?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47079

You deserved it

5787

Favorite

By iwantaraise - Australia

Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29158

You deserved it

3036

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By campmom

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49308

You deserved it

3810

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50422

You deserved it

3356

Favorite

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Top comments

By lovelyhippos | 15

#7871130 - Tuesday 31 December 2019 18:14

I think I see why he blocked you on everything.....

By leximichelle | 13

#7871147 - Tuesday 31 December 2019 21:19

What a noob. Using your own account to stalk your ex.

COMMENTS

By lovelyhippos | 15

#7871130 - Tuesday 31 December 2019 18:14

I think I see why he blocked you on everything.....

By timinator5000 | 28

#7871138 - Tuesday 31 December 2019 20:10

I'm sure you had a good reason for looking him up....

By leximichelle | 13

#7871147 - Tuesday 31 December 2019 21:19

What a noob. Using your own account to stalk your ex.

By alycion | 38

#7871200 - Wednesday 1 January 2020 7:02

Continuing to look for someone who obviously doesn’t want you in their life is stalking. Unless if there is a legit reason.

By Cody Vertigo Bonthoux | 15

#7871273 - Wednesday 1 January 2020 13:40

so you post on fml not realizing everyone is going to call you a STALKER

By Amanda G Rich | 23

#7871301 - Wednesday 1 January 2020 18:02

Move on, stalker, and go get help.

By bkwusa | 15

#7871798 - Friday 3 January 2020 17:38

Lucky for you Linkedin only shows you who viewed you if you pay for their premium subscription... Otherwise they only show you that someone viewed you. So it's actually unlikely that he knows it was you.