Health: Fresh and not Fit

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 815

You deserved it 54 625

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 966

You deserved it 26 208

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 941

You deserved it 3 434

By What. - 14/08/2013 00:08 - United States - Pawtucket

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 064

You deserved it 3 561

By jobless - 16/05/2012 07:36 - United States - Groton

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 052

You deserved it 2 402

Mowed down

By ThatsNotGrass - 10/08/2014 01:30 - Canada

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 290

You deserved it 22 504

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 182

By Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 058

You deserved it 18 029

Yesterday's news

By rofld - 14/07/2010 16:47 - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 851

You deserved it 28 053

By waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 608

You deserved it 83 019

By tash - 24/05/2011 12:33 - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 968

You deserved it 9 452

kut19 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:37

how fat are you?

Keffin 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:42

"gotta work out my muscles with my steering wheel" -pants-

Comments

richieflow 3

Sunday 8 January 2012 6:18

Hmm they must call u jugs

smileycupcake62 4

Wednesday 11 January 2012 17:22

um okay. soo does this happen when you drive a car, too?

kjtk 2

Thursday 17 May 2012 18:06

That's really sad.

superfail77 8

Sunday 17 June 2012 21:21

Fatass

diamondbaby16 4

Friday 6 July 2012 9:14

How do you do that ?!

MoMoGaston 0

Friday 17 August 2012 14:41

Wow that lawn mowers a wicked work out said no fit person ever

SweetLuna 10

Wednesday 31 October 2012 11:15

Oh wow, that's sad...

Esma_fml 10

Tuesday 6 August 2013 1:00

LOSE WEIGHT you totally like deserved that -_-

kesht1996 12

Monday 28 October 2013 3:21

Sounds like you ought to trade in that riding mower for a mower that you push

GreyDiaries 10

Sunday 8 June 2014 16:03

I'm sorry OP but that's all on you for not figuring it out sooner

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 280

Today, after convincing my now ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t cheating on her with a girl from work the other day, I accidentally called her by her name. They both start with “M”. Hello, single life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 557

The Top

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 036

You deserved it 3 030

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 175

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 936

You deserved it 2 570

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 9 507

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 307

You deserved it 2 143

Today, I was flattered to receive a hand-addressed letter for the first time in years. I tore it open to discover it was actually addressed to my dog. It was a vaccination reminder from his vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 110