Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML
Today, I was jogging through the park and in my enthusiasm I thought I’d be able to jump over a bench in my stride. I tripped mid-jump, landed face-first in the grass, and scared a group of schoolkids who were on a tour of the city. FML
Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML
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Top comments
shiroun 0
What the hell is with all the paranoid women? If theres a shadow behind you it doesnt automatically mean that youre about to get raped.
je_tdwp 4
Who the hell waves their arms to ward off an attacker? Are you dealing with a raccoon or a mugger here?
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Comments (160)
Slinky_fml 0
wow your a bloody idiot. and if it was an attacker, wtf was flailing around going to do? they're not bloody bears, they're humans, they don't get scared off by people acting like idiots
christopherlove 0
The next day the jogger brushed up against you jogging by. He was later charged with rape, right? There are about 100 FMLs about women flipping out thinking they're about to be raped or attacked by some stranger. Seriously, what's the matter with you people?
MR_OHCRAP 0
Trust me from experience, being confident and being strong (mentally) instead of scared, the mugger/attacker/rapist will less likely too harm you, because if you act scared, they will see you as weak and afraid.
bubbles15100 0
23... Most attackers won't attack if the women is too much trouble. OP- I can understand why u did this but YDI because u were out by yourself. If u are that paranoid, then get a friend to go with u.
winmad21 0
Hahahaha
TimeForSp 0
If you stoped being such a retard mabye this would not have happened. YDI
TimeForSp 0
18 how can she grow a pair she is a woman.
xFaust_fml 12
What's wrong with you? oO That's the LAST thing I would have thought of...
tWitt3rBuG 0
Lol, what an image! Hey b8r paranoid then sorry! Besides what's the odds of you seeing him again?
Dead_and_Gone 0
ROFL