Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML
Today, out of pure desperation and loneliness, I went out with my ex-boyfriend. It ended with him hitting me and driving off with my car. He's in jail now. What was I thinking? FML
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Top comments
duckling916 4
please tell me you left him in there!
CrazyJ716 18
Is it wrong to laugh?
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Comments (96)
duckling916 4
please tell me you left him in there!
Jac_d_ipper 10
I think that's what OP did when she refers to now ex-boyfriend.
MissWhitneyB 17
I hope you didnt do it
zandalee 19
Because next time it will be you he hits OP.
fareith 15
54- Oh, shut up. Hitting a man/stranger doesn't mean you're going to go home and beat your girlfriend. Quit being so ignorant.
Faff 20
if he punches somebody over such a ridiculous reason, it's fair to assume he would also hit his girlfriend eventually.
Darkmagic666 9
65, it said he hit a female, and hitting anyone for such a reason is stupid. Not to mention if he happened to be drunk or something and got angry at OP there is a possibility he may hit her.
cwells0430 12
Lmao glad someone asked
CrazyJ716 18
Is it wrong to laugh?
Zebediabolical 43
I lol'd. That means it probably is.
Bakarra 22
See you all in hell!
jedielf 23
it may be wrong, but feels OH SO RIGHT.
Fedezzer 20
Apparently not (+54 likes -->).
jadevv 12
Nah. I did too
AdamsNumberOne 16
Your ex-boyfriend needs to see a counselor for his temper.
gloooooria 14
I'm glad you left him there to deal with the consequences of his immature and disrespectful actions. I hope that cashier presses charges too! And good for you for making someone like him your ex!
CallMeMcFeelii 13
If he's in jail I'm guessing the cashier already pressed charges.
kinky44 28
You don't have to press charges to send someone to jail. He's in jail for commiting a crime.
golden_warrior 23
Let the scum bag stay in jail and that will teach him a lesson
dead_insects 18
i.wonder if he was drunk when he went in there... thinking he'd get away with that behaviour unscathed... dipshit
Amb3rDucki3 12
Please tell me you left his ass there!! He deserves to sit in a corner next to Bubba and think about what he's done.
Roskie 16
Nah, it'd be too hard to sit.
flashback.miss 28
Good, let him wallow in there and pay for his crime. And thanks for writing ''ex-boyfriend-; that'll save a lot of hopefully ex-boyfriend comments. (Next time he'll hopefully think twice before emulating Jersey Shore.)
RobotSpaceWalrus 5
Unfortunately some people didn't manage to figure out that she left him in there and said they hope she did, lol.
worldclassrager 39
Well him being an ex it is not your problem...what a waste of his one phone call...but honestly ten cents doesn't deserve a punch...
Roskie 16
They were still together when he called. OP broke it off over the phone.
worldclassrager 39
Oh thanks for the clarification 25...