Fragility

By TooAccepting - 06/01/2021 23:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy
Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I'm pansexual. I said attracts what me to him is his intelligence and personality, and would still love him whether or not he had a penis. Turns out a 100% straight cis man can prioritise his penis over his intelligence and personality, because he's really offended now. FML
I agree, your life sucks 705
You deserved it 1 025

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Okay, devil's advocate time. If I told my wife that I love her mind and don't care about her face, I'd be optimistic not to think she might be offended. Anytime you tell your partner 'I don't care about x' they can hear 'x is unattractive/undesireable' I know it isn't what you intended to say, but his reaction is understandable. Whether realistic or not, we want to feel desired for all our attributes, and it is entirely possible to feel hurt and vulnerable when that sense is undermined, even well intentionedly so.

let's not jump to this cis males are bad cliche. look at it from his point of view. what you said is, what his body is like doesn't matter. if I was dating a pan girl and she told me my penis didn't matter I'd be offended too. you can like whatever you want, but if I was your bf I'd want my body to be on that list. personality and intelligence are important but so is physical attraction.

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Okay, devil's advocate time. If I told my wife that I love her mind and don't care about her face, I'd be optimistic not to think she might be offended. Anytime you tell your partner 'I don't care about x' they can hear 'x is unattractive/undesireable' I know it isn't what you intended to say, but his reaction is understandable. Whether realistic or not, we want to feel desired for all our attributes, and it is entirely possible to feel hurt and vulnerable when that sense is undermined, even well intentionedly so.

let's not jump to this cis males are bad cliche. look at it from his point of view. what you said is, what his body is like doesn't matter. if I was dating a pan girl and she told me my penis didn't matter I'd be offended too. you can like whatever you want, but if I was your bf I'd want my body to be on that list. personality and intelligence are important but so is physical attraction.

Not if you’re actually asexual and you can’t feel physical attraction.

Pansexual and asexual aren't the same thing. So either OP mistyped, or you did.

I'm pansexual too, and though I understand your meaning, I can also understand why he was upset if that's the exact wording you used. It's still something of an overreaction on his part though. I tend to describe it as gender not being a relevant factor in whether I'm attracted to someone, rather than specifically saying I don't care whether my partner has a penis. Especially when my partner does have one and is probably pretty happy with it.

Are you sure you don't mean that you're a sapiosexual, pansexual is a generalized term for all the alternative sexualities. I'm a straight man who is only physically attracted to women once I have got to know them very well and are mentally attracted to them first. which is basically the definition of a sapiosexual.

All that matters is that he has a pan.

I mean, that kinda says a lot ABOUT his intelligence and personality, frankly.

Pansexual means your attracted to male, female and intersex. Were you meaning Asexual?