Work: Today, I gave a presentation to a class of 70+ people. No one... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 96

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 303

11/04/2016 17:40

Today, I gave a presentation to a class of 70+ people. No one bothered to tell me my fly was unzipped. No wonder they were all smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 210

You deserved it 2 580

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Stop talking!

Overreaction much?

15/07/2009 02:17

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 775

You deserved it 4 542

Here's to a better year

By tasian14 - 01/01/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years decided on New Year's Eve to get on his knees and tell me that he cheated on me with his ex, and they're getting back together. Yay last day of 2020! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 70

26/01/2010 19:03

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 660

You deserved it 30 972

10/12/2015 10:47

Today, while making less than minimum wage at McDonalds, I had to dispose of a grown man's soiled underwear that he left on the bathroom floor under a pile of toilet paper. It isn't even the grossest thing I've seen in my six months of employment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 2 508

12/10/2013 20:28

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 247

You deserved it 14 902

23/07/2011 00:52

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 134

You deserved it 12 211

23/04/2012 04:44

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 808

You deserved it 3 731

02/08/2009 06:10

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident, when my dad came to pick me up instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when he went to the hospital while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 724

You deserved it 4 124

03/11/2010 17:57

Today, I failed to get my driver's licence. My father was the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 046

You deserved it 28 091

24/07/2012 05:10

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 081

You deserved it 23 810

18/03/2016 19:40

Today, I've been awake for 4 days. My doctor recently put me on enough sleeping pills to kill a small country, but when I take them it's like a shot of adrenaline. I'm wide awake and tired as all hell at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 1 526

26/01/2013 22:57

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 241

You deserved it 7 147

12/07/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 931

27/05/2009 23:10

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 493

You deserved it 74 936

25/01/2009 13:07

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 300

You deserved it 2 870

20/08/2009 15:55

Spicy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 683

You deserved it 19 177

18/05/2012 16:05

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 2 450

23/06/2010 14:27

Today, I found out that my colleagues don't add me on Facebook so that they can publicly put me down in their statuses, without me knowing. My boss liked the one which said that I talk too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 10 371

01/08/2012 20:59

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 359

You deserved it 36 208

28/05/2012 22:00

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 995

You deserved it 13 627

25/01/2015 05:01

Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 611

You deserved it 2 143

Landlords need love too

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 19:00

Today, I started my weekend right… outside my grandmother's house, trying to repair her yard. The senile landlord came by and trashed it. This isn't the first time. He's pushing 90 years-old, so it's hard to tell if he has dementia or if he's doing it on purpose. All I want to know is, why hasn't he retired? FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 42

05/03/2009 23:26

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 866

You deserved it 67 988

05/02/2011 07:16

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her facebook status changed to "In a relationship". This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 952

You deserved it 3 773

21/05/2019 18:00

Today, my walk of shame may have been caught by the Google car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 607

Heavy sleeper

By PolarBear2020 - 27/07/2021 21:58

Today, maintenance was supposed to come in to replace my broken washer. I worked late last night until 4 AM, and then dozed off. I slept so soundly that they managed to enter the apartment, haul away the broken washer, and install the new one, all while I was fast asleep in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 162

08/02/2015 22:24

Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 345

You deserved it 2 304

30/07/2011 05:15

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 004

You deserved it 3 122

09/08/2016 18:17

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 294

You deserved it 4 247

02/11/2015 00:05

Today, I got fired from my dream job. I found out today that the girl who trained me lied and taught me how to do things wrong, so that when she got back from maternity leave, she could get me fired and take her job back. My new coworkers were in on her plan from the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 750

You deserved it 1 555

Rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 29/01/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend. Two weeks before Valentine's day. She expects me to buy her a present because we've known each other for a while, and apparently thinks it's more than a drunk hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 1 572

05/09/2009 07:07

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 198

You deserved it 49 535

15/05/2017 20:00

Today, the person who bullied me throughout my childhood eventually resulting in me going to therapy and switching schools became my boss. On top of that, he refers to me by the insulting nickname he called me during childhood. It's good to see that growing up hasn't changed him at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 045

You deserved it 381

11/07/2016 19:09

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 144

You deserved it 789

01/09/2012 04:07

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 981

You deserved it 3 165

18/08/2011 05:18

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 496

You deserved it 8 831

26/11/2010 17:31

Today, I camped outside of a Best Buy to guarantee I'd get a cheap Blu Ray player. My friend who got there five minutes after they opened also managed to get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 331

You deserved it 41 130

31/10/2014 14:27

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 524

You deserved it 2 906

07/01/2013 03:16

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 431

You deserved it 4 343

24/12/2011 22:05

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 589

You deserved it 2 288

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:13

This is all wrong, you were supposed to envision the crowd in THEIR underwear.

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:12

I know those feels OP. I know those feels. Happened to me 5 times when I was in college. Of course, the last time it happened I also had a chubby.

Comments

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:11

You should have checked on the fly... Seriously though fyl

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 3:06

I don't think moving your hand around your crotch would go to well during a speech.

soapysurprise 12

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 3:37

I think it would be preferable to check it before the presentation.

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:11

Lets not let the fly off the handle here, maybe they were all just had resting nice faces :

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:12

well....was it a good presentation?

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:26

They probably gave op a standing ovation at the end

Puffytruffles 18

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 4:40

Let's hope it's the only presentation OP gave.

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 4:47

It can be assumed it was since they used "a" before "presentation".

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:12

I know those feels OP. I know those feels. Happened to me 5 times when I was in college. Of course, the last time it happened I also had a chubby.

hellobobismyname 24

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 9:32

When this happened to me I was a little kid. I got so embarrassed when some mean kids pointed it out to everyone and tried to play it off by saying I left it like that on purpose. For air conditioning..... I feel for you OP but hopefully you handled it better than I did lol

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:13

This is all wrong, you were supposed to envision the crowd in THEIR underwear.

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:20

I personally don't get why it's such a big deal if your fly is unzipped. It's not like your body parts are gonna magically appear through a one inch zipper.

asiansapphire 10

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Tuesday 12 April 2016 3:49

very small presentation ;)

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:26

It's not that big a deal, unless you got aroused during your presentation, then you just presented yourself during your presentation.

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:26

Just remember that if people noticed they tried to ignore it. Yes it sucks, but chances are that anyone who noticed it didn't continue to stare at it and think about how it was down.

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:32

The best thing to do right now, would be to just go sit in a corner and cry...

Softballchick224 21

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Monday 11 April 2016 23:38

Are you sure it wasn't just your sparking personality??