Intimacy: Excuses

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 677

You deserved it 54 195

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Same thing different taste

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 492

You deserved it 927

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 350

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 157

You deserved it 3 215

By Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 256

You deserved it 17 289

Blurt it out

By gotta love my momma - 28/08/2014 05:08 - United States - Folsom

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 329

You deserved it 11 326

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 261

You deserved it 5 225

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 114

Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…

By TheVirginJenny - 07/10/2012 00:05 - United States - Spanaway

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 319

You deserved it 7 907

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 376

You deserved it 8 613

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 107

You deserved it 5 090

goshkoganwtf 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:14

Your mother is a bitch. No offence to you. But its just mean what she did Im sorry.

EmilyMarie 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 20:15

I say you should get pregnant and see how she responds. (Unless you're male I suppose.)

Comments

Sloan_The_Great 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 21:00

To poster, good for you to wait!!! And your mom was probably trying to just be funny, but is proud of you to #9, I could have had sex many times, but I choosde not to because I am a Christian and to #16, How can you be a christian and believe pre-marital sex is ok???

97currie 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:53

haha "choosde"

Sloan_The_Great 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 21:05

Also, #17, almost everyone who waits have wonderful marriages and never look at another person in that way

fortunecookie_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 21:06

some people practice christianity differently. I'm a christian but I have had sex. my boyfriend was a virgin when I met him (very christian) but we had sex a while into our relationship, we're also getting married though, that's why he decided to do it sooooo... Christ will always forgive those who accept him.

Puolukka 4

Thursday 12 March 2009 21:09

#21 I believe it's everyones personal choice...I'm Catholic and I had pre-marital sex...boohoo big deal...it doesn't make you less of a Christian...if people want to wait until marriage that is great and I respect that...so I think people like that should also respect my choice not to wait...just my opinion...

Sloan_The_Great 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 21:10

#24, God intended sex to be between 1 man and 1 woman, aka marriage!!!! How can that be misinterprited, do you want me to break out scripture???? Because I will!!

Kitten125 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 21:14

Hey, just because you wait to have sex until your married doesn't mean you can't get laid. Its a personal choice and if that's what you really believe don't let anyone else bash that decision. I think waiting until you find that person that you want to share the rest of your life with, and sharing that special moment with them when you decide to have sex is special and better than just giving it away.