Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML
Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
goshkoganwtf 0
Your mother is a bitch. No offence to you. But its just mean what she did Im sorry.
EmilyMarie 0
I say you should get pregnant and see how she responds. (Unless you're male I suppose.)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (320)
mikcand 0
call ur mom a bitch then run away to some place she would nvr find u then i bet shes gonna be srry for being such an asshole
dvs01 0
Waiting until marriage? What's wrong with you? Why would you make a permanent decision to be with someone if you don't even know how they are in bed? Sex is a crucial element of a relationship, why the hell would you make such a gamble? It's decisions like this that contribute to how ****** up this world is.
Zacky_V_01 4
good luck finding a guy who could wait until marriage.... you gotta test drive your car before you buy it. But on the other hand... get drunk, have sex and get pregnant and tell your mom you're sorry. JK but your mom is a bitch, sorry... FYL
cutiepie87 0
#185 win
cowgirlsdontcry 0
My now husband and I dated for four years in high school before getting married and we waited until our wedding night to have sex. We were both virgins. It is not impossible to wait, and we did not have to. But it is well worth it!!! Good for you for making that choice :)
sunnilal 0
that is SOOO INCREDIBLY rude! if anything, she should be proud of the fact you want to stay true and put a value on sex instead of letting others get to know your ******! ur mother is ****** up, sorry to say so, and if i were you i would ignore her. seriously, i know like a TON of moms who would appreciate your decision to stay pure. seriously.
sunnilal 0
ok btw, i do beleive in pre-marital sex: it is possible to find some one you really care about and want to give it to before getting married. i dont really beleive in sleeping around. but once you lose it, you lose it, and it doesnt matter who and why you do it a second time.
LIL209JJ 0
BURN!! YOUR MOM OWNED YOU!...so sad
em_babee 0
haha thats funny, but your mums a bitch for saying that and not supporting your rights
London1715 0
Well good for you. Dont listen to what she says!