Intimacy: Emergency

Emergency

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

agreeclassic 307 541

vote type 1 20 918

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Treasure hunt

By bubbalicious - 13/08/2009 20:57 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

agreeclassic 39 736

vote type 1 87 092

Freakout

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

agreeclassic 40 628

vote type 1 4 383

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

agreeclassic 41 088

vote type 1 3 940

Disrespectful

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

agreeclassic 10 862

vote type 1 29 142

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

agreeclassic 4 088

vote type 1 271

By FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

agreeclassic 25 107

vote type 1 4 001

By Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

agreeclassic 58 471

vote type 1 19 471

By scot - 02/09/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

agreeclassic 27 294

vote type 1 14 010

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

agreeclassic 39 057

vote type 1 8 988

By lolk - 10/03/2013 07:41 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

agreeclassic 22 725

vote type 1 41 728

YOUNGSMUTTY 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:08

That's sad. I hope your grandma's alright! You're such a sweet boy for going home to help her. I'll take your virginity ;) Haha jk.

shortandloud 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:09

That sucks about not getting sex but I have to say that the whole getting stuck between the bowl and the wall is pretty hilarious.

Comments

ammali 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:16

#50 and #52 is right, not everybody jumps into bed right away with someone. Everyone has their own timetable and every couple's different. But wow OP, heck of a sign there! Hard to say who's life is more ******, yours or your grandmother who was stuck there xD

FrayedxD 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:44

ROFLMAO OH MY GOD. FUNNIEST THING I HAVE READ ALL DAY. DUDE YOU GOT **** BLOCKED BY YOUR GRANDMA! HAHA. F YOUR LIFE, STRAIGHT OUT. -FrayedxD

ashketchummmm 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:52

Hhahahahahahaha i just died.

ashketchummmm 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:56

#46, you're disgusting.

everyonehatesyou 0

Monday 4 May 2009 14:59

aww, your poor grandma!

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:10

how ******* sad is it that Fmylife has reached the point where the entries have to specify that they aren't made up.

love4running 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:31

37- you were talking to your dad DURING sex??? talk about multitasking

thegoodlifeNOT 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:32

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA oh man that SUCKS

whomajigi 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:44

It's kind of quaint to wait 2 years and this is an FML, because the situation sucks. However I bet you got bonus points in your girlfriend's eyes for doing the right thing. And also, you did the right thing.