Dry

By moresexperience - 11/09/2009 12:26 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 527
You deserved it 4 316
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

boone_fml 0

Try communicating with your girlfriend about how you can take her to the bone zone. It doesn't matter what your mom was talking about. If she's not happy she's not happy.

94 2

Comments

ultravioletbaby 0

After five months? Wow.

1 4
thatoneguyinca 0

learn how to please the little man in the boat, it works wonders

9 0
Casualt1234 0

fyl for having a dumb girlfriend. but ydi for not building some stamina, it's not that hard.

6 2
Casualt1234 0

hello again KaySL. I am seeing you a lot today ^-^

0 0
Casualt1234 0

*nervously chuckles.* *shifts eyes with suspicion.*

0 0
Intoxicunt 5

Ohh, I know "the language of the hands" alright. ;)

1 1
Casualt1234 0

hey what's this now? there's a party underneath my post and i wasn't invited? >:/

1 0
Casualt1234 0

anal probes, "language of the hands," sacrificing goats - it all sounds like a blast and of course seeing how everyone on FML is obsessed with threesomes...

0 0
Casualt1234 0

who am i to judge? sounds like wholesome fun.

0 0
Casualt1234 0

*grins with pride* this is the greatest accomplishment of my life

0 0
Intoxicunt 5

I'm baaack! Yes, I'm seducing you. Or more like giving you fair warning of the things I'm going to do to you. Casualt, welcome. Did you bring the virgin?

0 0
Casualt1234 0

well yes i brought starchild, but he ran off somewhere.... :/

2 0
DresdenB17 0

another unsmooth moment brought to you by kestone light. always smooth, even when your not. I love this story. I normally think the filth on here is all bullshit but this one is a goldmine

1 0
Igor_g5 0

YDI for not knowing how to take care of a woman in bed.

6 3
CatherineARE 0

how could you have dinner when(right now its 2:22) ?

0 13
redbluegreen 40

Just because it's posted 'Today' and at a certain time is almost always irrelevant to the actual FML. For all we know, it could've happened ten years ago and they just altered their story slightly and kept the punchline.

8 0
canucksrule88 0

there is also this thing called time zones, meaning even if its a certain time where you are, it could be a totally different time somewhere else in the world. also this was probably written up hours or even days ago so there are a lot of factors to consider

6 1
Treece 0

Well someone isn't laying it down. FYL

2 0
Casualt1234 0

this is why you build stamina when your **********. especially if you have the time to do it.

2 0
Intoxicunt 5

You win. Although I think they called it "donkey style" back then.

1 0