Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
Today, a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her, so I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
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Top comments
saksxalmo 20
Aw, I'm so sorry OP. :( Maybe you should ask him about it? You never know.
ColorfulSmiles 7
I'm sorry :/ feel better though & have a safe pregnancy ! Take care of the baby :)
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Comments (116)
PurpleBerry13 3
Omg ! Maybe he bought them for you and you forgot ? I dont know but good luck with the baby (:
LadyGore 12
Your baby's daddy is an asshat. But it could possibly be a present he bought for you?
felisaa 5
Why would they have a babysitter if shes still pregnant? It's nice that you're trying to make the situation lighter but being cheated on while you're pregnant must be the WORST feeling ever.
FMLsAreAwesome 0
Maybe it was a gift?
LO388 7
Pretty tough for a grandma to get pregnant Noor ;)
Trisha_aus 15
I wonder what his explanation was...
felisaa 5
Ohh, that makes sense sorry i didn't read that one(:
tony1891 22
and I'm sure his response was....Oh. I bought them for you as a surprise right? and then they don't fit. damn.
eddyg94 11
are you sure the baby's yours????
premiermois 5
Are you serious...?
perdix 31
She could be a surrogate carrying another woman's fertilized egg.
AliSama 17
rofl! wow! You made me laugh so hard! I don't know to upvote for making me laugh this hard or downvote for being dumb as a doornail for asking a pregnant woman if she is sure the child she is carrying is hers.
eddyg94 11
In hindsight, sarcasm is difficult to relate through text.
iwadasn 33
But it's quite easy to say something stupid and then try to pretend you were being sarcastic when everyone calls you out on it.
ThatKidTyler 6
Is it now common for men to have babies?
TarieBoo 2
she stole the baby and put it in her stomach to hide it -___-
Michaelsgirl04 9
sarcasm...suuuuure it was
MidnaLink 35
75 That one was as funny as hell
kimmi41509 10
Judging by the "94" in his username, he would be either 17 or 18. So he's old enough to be on this site. Smart enough though, not too sure about that.
DollyDope 17
I'm going to exhibit some faith in EddyG and believe that he was joking. :P Better call Maury !!
KuchkaNumberOne 2
Pretty sure he's referencing a previous FML. Calm down, kids.
eddyg94 11
Right, I am frankly amazed that anyone took that seriously. It either highlights a deep cynicism of the public towards characters unknown, or a realistic fear born from genuine depression in average intelligence. Or a combination. Anyway I hope I'm subtly reinforcing my credibility; to confirm, I am not a ******* retard. Did no one think that the four question marks were excessive?????
dollyicious 1
Cut him some slack, he was clearly joking!!
momo1972 3
Beggars shouldn't be choosy
Marteeny23 19
Who said she was a beggar...
kirrra 11
how does questioning her fiance, and father of her unborn child, handing her lacy underwear which do not belong to her, make her a beggar exactly?