Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
Today, a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her, so I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
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Top comments
saksxalmo 20
Aw, I'm so sorry OP. :( Maybe you should ask him about it? You never know.
ColorfulSmiles 7
I'm sorry :/ feel better though & have a safe pregnancy ! Take care of the baby :)
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Comments (116)
poohappens26 0
Oh snap! First find out wth and then kick is ass!
ThankfullyNotYou 1
That poor child!
DanielleinDC 34
I sincerely hope he had a good explanation for this, although if he did buy them for you, handing them to you when you're sick is seriously bad timing.
sophbob 8
You need to confront him. Hopefully there's a reasonable explanation, but if not, you need to leave him xx
mscat 0
Roommates? No? R u REALLY surprised he cheated? Didnt u get knocked up so he will stop! Whatever! Wawawa! Now go have some cheese w that wine! O no cant pregnant-but its ur body………lol
kimpe 6
Is this even in english?
The_Spill_Canvas 5
I think its time for you to shut up now.
keldix12 5
you shouldn't be treated like that esp. if you are having a kid that is his? or is it his?
millieee92 2
eurgh what is it with men and cheating during pregnancy?
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Thats horrible you should tell him that the kid is not his and that it is his cousins or something to that effect!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Guys who go out and cheat on their wives are absolute pigs. But to do it while said wife, or fiance or whatever is pregnant, proves that they only want sex because the woman can't have sex while pregnant. Or at least not if she's so far along and feels as miserable as OP does. Sue him for alimony and child support!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
The awkward moment when he says "They're for our daughter! In the waaaaay future. Not buyin' it? Fine, they're mine. I LIKE WEARING LADIE'S UNDIES!"