Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML
Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
Today, a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her, so I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
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Top comments
saksxalmo 20
Aw, I'm so sorry OP. :( Maybe you should ask him about it? You never know.
ColorfulSmiles 7
I'm sorry :/ feel better though & have a safe pregnancy ! Take care of the baby :)
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Comments (116)
therealslim 15
Excuse me if i'm wrong, but aren't you 'itskaylabitch'? Did you make a new account?
babygirl420klp 3
Omg sweetie! That's terrible!! I would be madder than hell lol but good luck with tha baby :)
KweenChelly 6
I once cussed my ex husband out for some lacy panties I forgot I bought before I got pregnant.....
groupleader 7
I hope that if you actually tried to put them on, they were too small.....
karmicsamadi86 9
Take your baby and leave his ass. Women are strong, you can do it on your own!!
harof1c 0
He has some explaining to do.fyl
caitebrown0313 2
Maybe he got u new ones? :)
seb6969 6
Check them for stains and smell. It'll be be easy to tell if they're used and belong to someone else, or if they're new and he bought them for you
charvisioku 22
He might have bought them for you - I'd ask first and watch to see if you think he's lying. Don't forget your hormones might make you assume the worst quickly (no offence meant there). Hope it is just that :) If you guys are engaged, that would be my first assumption, to be fair.
imperialtl 12
Probably just the pregnancy brain.