Sex and Intimacy: Dirty talk

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 4 763

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Same thing different taste

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 5 698

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 422

You deserved it 8 899

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 160

You deserved it 11 993

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 172

You deserved it 4 850

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 644

You deserved it 29 341

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 381

You deserved it 4 984

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 5 985

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 481

You deserved it 5 013

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 614

You deserved it 15 433

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 23 453

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:07

lmfao! Harold and Kumar quotes! ahahahah

deathartisan 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:10

hahaha. fyl op. but he is a funny guy. you should find a better quote to pull on him if you make him go down on you

Comments

Inuyasha1770 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 3:26

wow... that's... really gross. fyl.

jmccloskey13 0

Friday 10 September 2010 7:40

lol I've totally said that before

ifmlftw 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 6:45

cockmeat sandwich lmfao

isac1234 0

Friday 27 May 2011 7:24

eat it with mustard ! lmfao

adela119 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 22:17

lol snick just got owned

itzgiimo 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 3:46

school food is always cockmeat sandwiches. and why didn't you just eat it?

ZielZone 4

Monday 19 September 2011 22:41

ROFL... Do it or change boyfriends

kroekdog 7

Monday 26 September 2011 1:37

Did it come with mayo? I bet it did..

omggtfomi 1

Saturday 12 November 2011 7:15

Oh my gosh wow -_-

gress269 4

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:33

Like in Guantanomo Bay

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The Top

Today, my mother-in-law called my boyfriend, who is four years younger than me, to try and persuade him to go to a funeral, because there would be cute girls there his age there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 84

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 368

You deserved it 4 151

The Top

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 830

Today, my mobile phone wouldn't turn on. I took it in to the phone store, but they won't fix or replace it because the account is in my dad's name, not mine. He's abroad for the next month, and the only way to get a hold of him is on a number I only stored on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 140

You deserved it 5 748

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 023

You deserved it 3 913

Today, my kids' mother, who has been absent and living in a different state for over 12 years, sent a children services worker to my house with a long list of allegations, even though she's 25k behind in support, rather than try to build a normal relationship with her kids in any kind of healthy way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 66

Today, I live in a studio and I can hear really weird noises coming from my neighbours, my walls, my floor and even inside, without knowing what did fall/scratch/move. I seriously wonder if someone lives hidden in the walls. I don't know if I should call the cops, a psychiatrist or an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 91

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 221