Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML
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Top comments
monkeyspark 6
I'd kick his ass.
Intoxicunt 6
He sounds like an ass. I'm not some anti-drinking, self-righteous bitch, but he just sounds like an idiot. Get over him. Go have fun.
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Comments (64)
Sorrel 0
So? Deal with it, guys will get drunk and do stupid things. The answer? Get drunk and do stupid things back. Call HIM later to remind him if it makes you feel better.
lobby0ne 0
You realized you still called him "boyfriend" not "ex" right? He's a dick though.
9az00 0
well obviously you are in denial if you are still calling him your "boyfriend"... maybe you NEED to be reminded.
x0stormbringer 0
if she said 'ex boyfriend' it would have killed the punchline
VampyrXPixie 0
Really now? Really... wow... I'm not gonna bitch about how its wrong to get drunk and that shit but still... he sounds like an idiot
Struedelmuffin 0
Yay!
jet_fml 0
obviously she worded it like that so it was funnier/had more impact.
Thecommish 0
YDI - you choose to date this clown in the first place. next time pick a real man.
charginasaur 3
woah, i said "it would have killed the punchline" before i realize that thats the exact wording everyone else used. kinda weird.
lrb081 0
I'm not sure about the validity of this story. If he broke up with you prior to drunk dialing you, why would you not refer to him as your EX-boyfriend?
Wanton_Rhapsody 0
Wow. He's clearly a moron; drunkeness only makes you so much dumber. You're better off. Check out Rasputina's If Your Kisses Can't Hold the Man You Love. Enjoy your freedom.