Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML
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Top comments
monkeyspark 6
I'd kick his ass.
Intoxicunt 6
He sounds like an ass. I'm not some anti-drinking, self-righteous bitch, but he just sounds like an idiot. Get over him. Go have fun.
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Comments (64)
mahree8mellos 0
He broke up with you, so why would you even answer his 1am phone call?
blondie44 0
Clearly it would have ruined the story if she said her ex-boyfriend called and broke up with her..
broadway_fml 0
who gives a **** about the "punchline". tell us the FML how it happened bitch. you deserve to be single
diemileyjk 0
well maybe he only broke up with u b/c he was drunk?
BioProject 0
FML?
meowcat121 0
haha you shoulda totally played with his mind and said "but darling, dont you remember? (and then say something witty like....) OUR WEDDING DAY IS TOMORROW! haha ♥
konstantine_fml 0
What a dick. Seriously, the guy is a dumbass and I really hope you're better than him and don't drink your emotions away like he does. Please move on from him. He doesn't deserve someone who is willing to answer their phone at 1am when their ex is calling and still listen to him while he's drunk. And I agree, had she referred to him as her "boyfriend" that totally would have killed the punchline. Back on subject, enjoy being free from the drunken bastard. :)
ftskfan 0
#3= win
toliphan 0
Maybe if you were fun and actually went out to have fun with him instead of staying home and being frigid this wouldn't happen to you.
LLgood 0
What an ass.