Pranks and Intimacy: Deep sleep

Deep sleep

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 19:28 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 848

You deserved it 9 856

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By N O - 27/05/2014 18:47 - Canada - Granton

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 383

You deserved it 6 961

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 936

You deserved it 3 983

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 053

You deserved it 4 731

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 658

You deserved it 64 542

By Jared - 25/02/2012 19:09 - United States

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 014

You deserved it 30 856

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 979

You deserved it 7 499

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 268

You deserved it 29 219

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 787

You deserved it 6 723

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 253

You deserved it 27 567

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 965

You deserved it 1 169

daliagrande 17

Monday 5 August 2013 5:32

Your girlfriend is a bloody genius.

mete_orito 34

Monday 5 August 2013 5:31

She is pure evil!!! Haha. I hope you won't get any psychological issues from this OP. ;-)

Comments

Erery 16

Tuesday 6 August 2013 4:47

Your gf is a prankster you can have fun with that ;)

HeartOfLead 24

Tuesday 6 August 2013 5:55

Bloody hell! She's a nut!

iwadasn 32

Tuesday 6 August 2013 6:12

Wouldn't you have noticed that you weren't in any pain?

EmsyyyRose13 24

Tuesday 6 August 2013 6:58

If I saw blood on a place where there shouldn't be blood, I'd scream first, ask questions later.

Loff 16

Tuesday 6 August 2013 7:22

At least your girlfriend didn't have scissors around it :$

kuma32792 2

Tuesday 6 August 2013 7:47

That is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard. I hope one day to meet a woman like that. That is the kind of person I want ton have my kids. lol.

arre2006 19

Tuesday 6 August 2013 8:01

You pussy

HarroIAmBob 21

Tuesday 6 August 2013 21:08

shes definitely a keeper

ThePez828 18

Tuesday 6 August 2013 22:22

How old are you and how old are the majority of these commenters? You weren't in any pain or discomfort. Either you have very little common sense or you have a severe fear of blood...