Intimacy: Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend,...

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 135

You deserved it 72 634

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Same thing different taste

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 972

You deserved it 9 636

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 988

You deserved it 6 825

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 449

You deserved it 5 478

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 872

You deserved it 4 425

By imustbegay - 09/05/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 10 405

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 294

You deserved it 12 382

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 776

You deserved it 4 109

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 490

By RahiYeah09 - 17/09/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 7 193

slyvanilla_creme 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:37

You didn't know where your gf's father works? That bites.... Next time, tell him its for sex ed and your teaching kids how to put it on a banana.

Miru_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 8:57

"her dads a cashier? he sure got far in life..." @#1: You shouldn't be so ignorant, some people couldn't afford higher education. Or perhaps Kim's dad was an immigrant just trying to establish a life in a new country. It's hard for them.

Comments

slyvanilla_creme 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:37

You didn't know where your gf's father works? That bites.... Next time, tell him its for sex ed and your teaching kids how to put it on a banana.

shh_baby_shhh 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:50

That's brilliant, certainly one of my favourite FMLs I've ever read.

enormouselephant 15

Sunday 3 February 2013 14:17

I feel like he makes it sound like a threesome 'my girlfriend, Kim, and I'.

MissFae 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:55

I saw someone make this one up before.

jayhawk63 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:56

Sounds a little too much like the story of the kid who buys condoms then goes to dinner at his girlfriend's house only to find out her dad sold him the condoms... Funny, nonetheless.

RyGan 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 18:22

I know .. I've heard this joke before .. could be a fake FML . Or a stupid OP

Agent00mo 0

Monday 23 February 2009 8:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

taylorbear3397 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 6:08

Why Capitalize Every Word In Your Comment Like This

Spongii101 12

Saturday 17 April 2010 20:56

Because he's weird.

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 14 June 2016 9:40

No, 61, he's EDGY.

Miru_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 8:57

commonsense 0

Monday 23 February 2009 8:57

this was taken out straight from the movie Wheres the Party Yaar? ......

KatieWagnerFab 0

Monday 23 February 2009 13:26

That sucks. You should have said you we're playing a prank on someone. or you were buying them for your dad....or older brother.

anonymous23_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 16:44

ookay, why do people get so crazy??? this is just a story. this isn't i-need-advice.com... it's FML.com. so let people vent and stop getting all Dr. Phill that's all :)

Tri_fml 5

Monday 23 February 2009 16:59

@ #14 - wtf? Lots of people use protection even in a long term relationship - contraceptive pills aren't 100% effective, and some of us don't want a kid just yet. Aside from that theres no mention of how long they've been together, it could be their first time together and it's certainly advisable to use protection in that case. However. This story made me rofl, definitely going in favs :)