Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
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Top comments
Ninjaface 0
Did he give you a ticket for being a buzzkill?
lucky4sum 0
Ur fiancé rocks, stop complaining.
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Comments (40)
zeebon 0
Aww, he sounds cute and fun :)
itspimpz 0
lol zeebons about to steal your fiancé
snafu57 1
opportunity for handcuffs. you be the rapist, cuff the big cop with his own handcuffs and make him obey your every whim . when he asks what you want him to do, tell him to cook dinner.
lucky4sum 0
Ur fiancé rocks, stop complaining.
cdawg4444 0
Did he have a badge?
tAlk_NERdy_tO_ME 0
did he beat you with his stick?
infernofalcon 0
Officially, eh?...I see what you did there...
supmofukka 0
ur an ungrateful biatch. quite complaining and let him cavity search u with his baton.
jamjenni2774 0
U Should have told him u were hiding contraband in ur ****** maby then he could do a cavity search for U!
trucktwister 0
next time leave the cliche for mlia
fuzion50 6
hells ya