Friends, Roommate and Awkward: Cuddle time

Cuddle time

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 08:51 - Australia - Donvale

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 757

You deserved it 5 758

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Same thing different taste

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 2 831

Painful

By stupid drunk bitch - 24/02/2016 18:37 - United States - Cobleskill

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 528

You deserved it 5 495

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 766

You deserved it 1 552

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 975

You deserved it 3 768

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 318

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 903

You deserved it 6 510

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 3 228

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 209

You deserved it 9 927

By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 138

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 927

You deserved it 5 245

Xiktyr 5

Thursday 12 December 2013 15:57

Uhh.. switch rooms, man.

jayray313 21

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:00

Sounds like your roommate has a crush on you. He only acts on it when the alcohol lowers his inhibitions.

Comments

vewwe 20

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:13

You should try and spoon him when he's sober. Like that he might move out before you have to.

ThongWarrior 17

Friday 20 February 2015 0:50

Kinda sounds like his roommate would rather enjoy it lol

Blueeyes0106 11

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:13

Sounds like you need a new roommate.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:17

Hide the Alcohol...or better yet don't allow it in your dorm room...

botanistjessica 24

Thursday 12 December 2013 17:45

Who says OP lives in a dorm?

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 12 December 2013 18:19

It's a bit more of a universal term...so I figured that would work...

lochie360 9

Thursday 12 December 2013 23:36

never seen a dorm room in Australia ;)

ZorroRooster 19

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:36

Be careful. You know what they say, spooning leads to forking.

Km1490 20

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:40

I think your.roommate is secretly in love with you..

darryaz 9

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:46

Doesn't sound like it's such a secret.

JokersHQ 21

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:42

Well at least it shows that you're a good friend? Not many people would do that.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:51

"Feel the rhythm with your hands (Steal the rhythm while you can) Spoonman"

DrownedMyFish 18

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:58

Now you know where to go if you ever feel the need to cuddle with someone!

myeviltwin 20

Thursday 12 December 2013 17:01

Don't worry OP. It's only gay if you push back :P Seriously though, I don't care how upset any of my guy friends are I would NEVER spoon with them and would disown them if they asked. And before anyone starts, NO I am not homophobic I just reserve the right not to be groped or touched in an inappropriate manner.