Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my creepy co-worker informed me that he was going to stick his "peeny-weeny" in my "teeny-vageeny". FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been anonymously sexting with through an adult website is the seriously creepy stalker-ish front desk worker from our office building, who also happens to be the building owner's son. Shit. FML
Today, I might have ruined my co-worker's relationship with her fiancé, with whom I share a name, because we "work together too often" and now he doesn't know whose name she's saying during sex. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
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Top comments
BigMatt803 18
Kinda makes you wonder how he gets laid being such a creep
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, what a creep. I hope you reported this to your higher-up!
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Comments (80)
dadli_fml 9
Interesting tactic he's using. I'm guessing you feel flattered? FYL
Damian95 16
"That's funny cause I was thinking bout calling the cops later, maybe ill use your name."
mattuti 8
Great icebreaker
jcruzin 2
How is this a FML?? Tell her you're locked, loaded and ready to make her scream your name! Unless she had level 4 or higher crazy eyes. That's kinda the no fly zone.
Cluricaun 5
Probably has a blow up doll with your picture taped to the face, seriously creepy.. FYL
rara_boo 7
At least someone's think about you.
chlorinegreen 27
I don't think slapping him is the answer. Violence will get you fired. Just report the guy if its that bad op or you could tell him that's inappropriate and if he doesn't stop you're going to have to report him. At least you would have given some warning he may think he's not doing anything wrong.
icepick23 12
YDI for being so hot
TVKill3r 15
Nobody deserves that level of creepy just for being good looking.
Omniprism 14
Grounds for sexual harassment.
fizzy_flow 4
thats creepy but ..