Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
Stare seductively? I bet you scared the shit out of him with your creepy stare.
barlessprison 16
well at least you made an impression!
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Comments (146)
sterlingarcher 1
ahahah that's what you get for trying to act cute and failing..
shenaniganry 3
How hard were you intending on sucking the straw, for it to cause a legitimate nose bleed?
shenaniganry 3
...as opposed to a fictional one.
miume16 0
lol thats funny but it happens to the best of us :)
Epic_Fail_Nate 0
Hahaha, this FML totally reminds me of Dimitri Martin. (funny comedian) "If you lose eye contact with the straw it will betray you and make you look like an idiot."
iamfreakinkylie 0
chane1100 6
his not that funny lol
Epic_Fail_Nate 0
*Demetri
j_cat187 20
thats a turnoff
Shadow4i5 3
yyeeaa...... you nose that straw, so sexy lol
benderbot19 0
circle yes or nose
ArielTheMermaid 17
how fast were you trying to get that straw into your mouth??
unknown831 0
are you blonde?