Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Boweezee 0
Even dead animals deserve respect. YDI for being disrespectful, and obviously not as clever as you thought.
KwitIt 0
I'm surprised it didn't just smear dead bird all over your windshield. Gross. You got kinda lucky.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
Cheesegrater 0
Why do all of you always say LOL and ydi
tyonclav 0
If you knew it was there then why didn't you roll your window back up?
nads_fml 0
i dont understand how this works. plus who wants to touch a dead bird, screw all those who say treat them with respect, do u go out and give burials to every ******* dead animal you see? how about that racoon that was run over? did you stop, scrap its sorry ass off the ground and go dig a hole for it? yep thought so.
happygirl_fml 0
hahaha gross.
Juggalette_623 9
Well, aren't you the brightest crayon in the box?
little_jane 0
lol
RIKANA 0
This sounds like a sceen in a moive. I can see the seen, but i cant place it... RI
Pokerdance 0
HAWT. I smell necrophilia-***********.
AdamGD 0
Damn cats always leaving dead things everywhere! I can so relate, we have like six cats on my street that are allowed to walk around everywhere! We once found two dead, half eaten birds under my mom
The_Master 0
HOOORAY FOR PHYSICS!!!! oh, And wiper FAIL. big FAIL.
AdamGD 0
*mom's car! ( sorry accidentally hit send early)