Today, my brother, a plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML
Today, my brother sent me over a dozen screenshots from his phone, because he couldn't work out why it wasn't capturing all the paint he'd managed to smear on the screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I checked my Facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption, "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NeatNit 33
You have a shitty brother.
SpicyDuck 22
Boys will be boys?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
Mitcha857 0
31 oh don't worry, we all can take a joke. Just not a terribly overused pun joke that shows you have no wits to think of something original.
starflyer59 17
then don't eat with your phone beside you. keep it in your pocket, turn in face down, there's a lot of solutions here...
alpacaman 5
Block his number
BaconBoy75 2
Ha ha ha! I love your brother.
yuggi1 11
Unwanted pictures pop up on your phone every time you get a SMS text? Want to stop embarrassing yourself around your coworkers? Got the solution for you! *Go to setting, then messages, have "message preview" disabled. Tada! Now every time someone texts you it will just show his name.
perdix 31
And this is why we put away our phones at dinner time. They're called manners and some of them are there for a reason.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Dear #4, You must be new. Please let me explain this to you. We all can take a joke but your joke was overused and frankly, not very funny at all-even when it first came out. So, next time when you see a shit related FML, please fight the urge to comment with this pun. ~Love, AwkwardPartyBear
evilplatypus 39
4 - Kindly observe who is getting thumbed down and who is not. Obviously what you said failed, people let you know it failed. Criticism, it's a bitch, but if you're going to attempt (and horrifically fail) at comedy, you should get used to criticism.
evilplatypus 39
54 - Not all phones have that option. I just looked it up and my phone doesn't have that option. OP - Just don't take your phone out around dinner. Tada?
TungstenLildog 10
I wonder if he can get in big trouble for sending pictures of his clients' bathrooms & business