Today, my brother, a plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML
Today, my brother sent me over a dozen screenshots from his phone, because he couldn't work out why it wasn't capturing all the paint he'd managed to smear on the screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I checked my Facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption, "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML
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Top comments
NeatNit 33
You have a shitty brother.
SpicyDuck 22
Boys will be boys?
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Comments (84)
Aspen_Grace33 27
Maybe start taking photos for him too of your personal bowel movements?
j_cat187 20
It is written, you will die!
kevinn95 0
Thats a shity situation! It must stink having a brother that would do that! When you open it ur probably thinking "ohh crap anoterone -.-t" Seriously man just dont open ur brothers texts around meal time
perdix 31
You ought to become a proctologist. It will probably take a decade if study, internship, residency, etc, but revenge is a dish best served cold.
blissmarie 6
How is not being able to tell a joke relatable to our social life? Please do care to explain because I'm not getting your point, han0803.
boofgall 16
31- It's a way overused joke that NOBODY finds funny at all. Do you get it now, miss?
slimshadey 5
If you know he sends them to you around meal time, why do you still answer?
reddudeover 2
6 - Pictures show up automatically on my phone. Just saying that might be the case with op as well.
bigdog57_fml 9
I thought it was funny...
aleeshttylXD 9
lol. this isnt facebook u silly goose!