Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML
Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML
Today, after almost a year of dating and getting dumped out of the blue, I found out my ex-girlfriend wants to get a restraining order against me. I guess dropping a box of her things on her porch after she wouldn't answer her phone is considered stalking. FML
Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML
Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML
Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML
Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You're such a cute couple!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML
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Top comments
i_imagine 0
What the. You have a retarded ex.
catatonicsleep 17
He must have a high opinion of himself if he thinks you would drive past his house every day just to see him. If you can't drive past his house how are you going to get home?
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Comments (132)
BSBrigade 0
I call BS on this. Judges for the most part aren't stupid. I'm pretty sure that at some point in the court proceedings the fact would have come up that you live two houses down, the judge just doesn't say "who do you want this restraining order against again?" "Jane Doe." "OK, here's your restraining order!" I also find it hard to believe you "found out" there's a restraining order, mainly because legal defendants have this tiny thing called "right to face the accuser."
littlemissvixen_fml 0
I dont know why people are saying its fake... where im from, in Canada it takes less than 3 hours to get a permanent restraining order. who cares if its fake anyways. nobody cares. shut the hell up : )
storm7_fml 0
W O W!!! THATS TERRIBLE!!! ID BEAT HIS ASS!!! [OR @ LEAST GET SUM1 ELSE 2!]
latuka 0
i agree with 27 and 16: "Why does everyone feel the need to show how every FML is fake? Dude, we don't care. It's for the funny, and it is-was-no thanks to you losers. The judge wouldn't allow it, blah blah blah. STFU. And the comments are funnier, so just shut up and let the FUNNY comments come too. Oh, and do y'all know where the OP lives? To say it won't happen, didn't think so. " if you don't like it just skip to the next one, you don't have to comment on every one. plus there are soo many possibilities in this world and so many people, if the situation didn't happen to the OP than its most likely happened to at least (probably a couple) SOMEBODY in this world (considering there are a billion+ of us). OP: hahahah! that is really funny. good thing he is your ex right?
amandanichole 0
you should drive by his house and then back up and then drive by again and then back up and then drive by his house again. u have to admit it would be entertaining ;)
jdaw2552 0
What the heck guys!??!?! Its her that has the restraining order. Maybe she shouldnt' have done stuff worthy of getting a restraining against. Who's the real psycho?
poison29 0
#4 - it's not that hard.
pologirl 0
Just remember, restraining orders are just another way of saying I love you ;)
nicma17 0
wow. . . .
losergirl 0
I agree with #16. Also, #4 is hilarious [: