Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks is freaky. At her grandad's funeral, she got so upset she had to leave the room, only to drag me into the priest's office for a quick blowjob. Apparently, death turns her on. I had oral sex at a funeral. I’m going to Hell for sure. FML
Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
Today, for some reason my girlfriend wanted to have sex in the bathroom at a family funeral. I’m sure that’s a sin, I mean… we definitely did it, so sorry Nana, but now I feel all wrong about it and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell one day. FML
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
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Top comments
mpsteve137 15
God is all about forgiveness
SWC_Penguin 17
What's really sad is that Grandma was only watching a shampoo commercial and confused it for ****.
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Comments (123)
xALEXx_fml 15
Aw she's just curious !!
timelessone 16
I'm totally reminded by the Family Guy episode where Peter is declared retarded and walks into the females bathroom.
bruce17 8
Tell her she is not the first one in family to do that and therefore not responsible for damning of family in hell...might relieve her a little bit!!!
BionicSasuage 6
Oh, FFS, where do people get this whole god is punishing me crap. I personally am an atheist and i really don't get it. I just don't, people who believe being afraid of their lord? makes no sense.
jem970 19
I personally agree with some of what you said but dont open that can of worms on here... please dont. Its not safe O.O
Jlow17 4
Listen we feel strongly about our god. We wish to feel we have eternal life after this. It's how we feel so we praise our lord.
williamcarter93 13
Jlow, why do you wish to feel that way is what I would like to know. You notice you said that 'you wish to feel this way' not 'we got proof that this is how it is.'.. so I would like to know, why? Is the one life you got with people who love you just not enough?/
timelessone 16
I'm with #44 here, FML really isn't the place to start this argument, any smart athiest would realize that and any good Christian would let that go. Anybody who trolls after this comment is a fool.
drewflav 17
Trolling trolling trolling lol
Tankkiller308 16
Your not supposed to fear the lord himself but to love him your supposed to be afraid of what happens without him and his mighty power if you attack what god is
Iclickalot 2
I'm afraid to say that hell for me is going to be especially bad.
crhoe 2
****=good, good-o=god I think he will be fine with it
Zebediabolical 45
**** = Good. Good - O =God. So God is only good with **** where no one gets off.
CoachBangWhore 5
She's damned the whole family. What a selfish, shameful woman
kelseythompson 27
Your user name shames your family.. *****.
angelitared 27
What kind of ****? Bahaha!!
mr_sarcastic416 29
#63 it was a mix with a little bit of everything imaginable..... it's one really ****** up dvd (but also a best seller)
armyaggie 11
Just tell her to place her faith in Jesus Christ for forgiveness-- see Acts 16:31.
Jharrist89 12
Or she's thinking about that big dick she saw lol!
ShakeDisPlace 10
"Grandma seduces young boy" ..that's all that came to my mind.